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Nowadays, people always throw the old things away when they buy new things, some people claim that the broken things should be repaired and used again. What factors cause this phenomenon? What effects the phenomenon leads to? v.1

Nowadays, people always throw the old things away when they buy new things, some people claim that the broken things should be repaired and used again. What factors cause this phenomenon? What effects the phenomenon leads to? v. 1
There is a significant change in buying trends of people in some developing countries over the last few years. People tend to invest more on modern and new products to avail maximum benefits associated with them. I agree to some extent that economic prosperity, high wages, attractive advertisements and improved quality of products ignite people to buy latest products. However, it has many detrimental effects on the environment that leads to pollution, deforestation and massive quality of rubbish in societies. There is no denying that people’s living standards have been improved with economic success. Increased in pay and reduced prices of commodities have dramatically risen the buying capacity of people. Additionally, advertisement plays a pivotal role in attracting people’s attention toward new and modern products. For example, commercial consistently ignite people desires to buy products that are trendy, modern and advanced. Furthermore, people have become workaholics and hardly get enough time for repairing products. It is also seen that some time repairing cost is much higher to the actual values of the product that also discourage people to repair old things. Despite the benefits, it also has dire consequences on the environment, in order to fulfil the demands of contemporary people, companies are exploiting natural resources. Deforestation, de-vegetation and lagging are prevalent in many societies. Moreover, people are producing more rubbish by discarding traditional items and adopting products of presents-days. To sum up, I would like to say that products of today’s age are more advanced and efficient than conventional, thus these attract large numbers of people because of their undeniable benefits. Governments and individuals should make attempt to create awareness about reusing and recycling of items. Consequently, it will help in cleaning parks and streets from massive litters of wasted disposable cups, plates and bags.
There is a significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in buying trends of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
over the last few years.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
tend to invest more on modern and new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to avail maximum benefits associated with them. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent that economic prosperity, high wages, attractive advertisements and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
ignite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
However
, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
detrimental effects on the environment that leads to pollution, deforestation and massive quality of rubbish in societies.

There is no denying that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
living standards have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
with economic success. Increased in pay and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
prices of commodities have
dramatically
risen the buying capacity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Additionally
, advertisement plays a pivotal role in attracting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
attention toward new and modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
For example
, commercial
consistently
ignite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
desires
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that are trendy, modern and advanced.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have become workaholics and hardly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time for repairing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. It is
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time repairing cost is much higher to the actual values of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
that
also
discourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to repair
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
things.

Despite the benefits, it
also
has dire consequences on the environment, in order to fulfil the demands of contemporary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are exploiting natural resources. Deforestation,
Possible spelling mistake found.
de-vegetation
and lagging are prevalent in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
societies.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are producing more rubbish by discarding traditional items and adopting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
of presents-days.

To sum up, I would like to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s age are more advanced and efficient than conventional,
thus
these attract large numbers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their undeniable benefits.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
and individuals should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
attempt to create awareness about reusing and recycling of items.
Consequently
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in cleaning parks and streets from massive litters of wasted disposable cups, plates and bags.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays, people always throw the old things away when they buy new things, some people claim that the broken things should be repaired and used again. What factors cause this phenomenon? What effects the phenomenon leads to? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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