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Nowadays, people always throw the old things away when they buy new things, some people claim that the broken things should be repaired and used again. What factors cause this phenomenon? What effects the phenomenon leads to? v.2

Nowadays, people always throw the old things away when they buy new things, some people claim that the broken things should be repaired and used again. What factors cause this phenomenon? What effects the phenomenon leads to? v. 2
We are living in a fascinating and an ever-changing world; therefore, one has to accept the changes in order to cope up with them. Some people consider that one can make the place for new things by throwing away the old ones. However, others believe that old is gold and one should repair them and reuse them. Several factors cause this phenomenon as well as their respective consequences. The concept of throwing away older things has the negative effect on the environment. These things produce more garbage and eventually lead to the disposal problem. The more throwing away old things, more would be the accumulation of garbage. In a long run, this leads to the environmental pollution. Today, pollution has already become a serious threat to the world. Hence, it is suggested to repair the old things and use them instead of disposing of them right away. On the other hand, what I believe is in three valuable R’S- repair, recycle and reuse. One could effectively reduce the harm caused to the environment by following these three R’s. The practice of reusing older things is a positive phenomenon. The non-biodegradable things such as plastic would go on collecting in the land and lead to the imbalance. Therefore, they should be recycled for the future use. Nevertheless, one may counter argue that, if one re-uses the older things then what about the new ones, they just loose their market value and this may result in the production loss. Finally, it is clear that this phenomenon receives the mixed response, it is the moot issue, and one has to take care this issue to avoid the major dreadful consequences.
We are living in a fascinating and an ever-changing world;
therefore
, one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
accept the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in order to cope up with them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider that one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the place for new things by throwing away the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
.
However
, others believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
is gold and one should repair them and reuse them. Several factors cause this phenomenon
as well
as their respective consequences.

The concept of throwing away older things has the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on the environment. These things produce more garbage and
eventually
lead to the disposal problem. The more throwing away
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
things, more would be the accumulation of garbage. In a long run, this leads to the environmental pollution.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, pollution has already become a serious threat to the world.
Hence
, it
is suggested
to repair the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
things and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them
instead
of disposing of them right away.

On the other hand
, what I believe is in three valuable R’S- repair, recycle and reuse. One could
effectively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the harm caused to the environment by following these three R’s. The practice of reusing older things is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
phenomenon. The non-biodegradable things such as plastic would go on collecting in the land and lead to the imbalance.
Therefore
, they should
be recycled
for the future
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.

Nevertheless
, one may counter argue that, if one re-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
the
Did you mean "older things than"?
older things then
what about the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
Did you mean "lose" (= miss, waste, suffer the loss etc.)?
loose
their market value and this may result in the production loss.

Finally
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that this phenomenon receives the mixed response, it is the moot issue, and one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
take care this issue to avoid the major dreadful consequences.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay Nowadays, people always throw the old things away when they buy new things, some people claim that the broken things should be repaired and used again. What factors cause this phenomenon? What effects the phenomenon leads to? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
277 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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