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Classroom education is more helpful in life than lessons learned at home. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Use specific examples and reasons for your answer. v.1

Classroom education is more helpful in life than lessons learned at home. Use specific examples and reasons for your answer. v. 1
Language is the best way to communicate in this competitive era, it is essential for students pursuing unfamiliar speech in order to speak with outsider individuals. A few opine that children should commence studying a strange dialect at elementary institute instead of high academy. Although this curriculum will enhance the area of exploration and helpful in later life, but I assert that it will increase the burden of studies and decrease leisure activities. Granted that, if pupils start acquiring related to distinct mother tongues like English, French, and Spanish at their junior schools than this will widen their knowledge level. Not only does it just rising their horizon, but it will also motivate students toward education. Even they will come to know about the culture and traditions related to overseas style. As mother tongues and customs, both are linked with each other. To exemplify it a survey conducted by 'the times' revealed that in India, 60%common scholar had learnt about foreigner cultures by grasping English in 2008. Moreover, if pupils pursue stranger speech at their kindergartens, it will surely useful in later stages of growth like in career development and for migrating to different places across the world. Thus, it is understandable that how foreign accent influence the activity of public institution students. Despite the above, I concede that this trend will raise the pressure of study among students. As elementary institutionalized children are around 6-8years. They are not mature to handle the burden of study. If schools will add non-native dialects in junior schools, this will exert adverse ramifications of their results. Additionally, it will decrease the leisure activities, those are essential for holistic development of scales. At this stage student love to do physical activities, which are good for growth and development. If they start learning about the strange language Of this period, this will definitely reduce the time for playing and other activities. So, it is clear that grasping oversea sound in kindergarten is detrimental for pupils. In conclusion, even though, this trend seems beneficial for increasing knowledge and later soul, I believe that it will release pressure as well as reduce time for physical activities.
Language is the best way to communicate in this competitive era, it is essential for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
pursuing unfamiliar speech in order to speak with outsider individuals. A few opine that children should commence studying a strange dialect at elementary institute
instead
of high academy. Although this curriculum will enhance the area of exploration and helpful in later life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I assert that it will increase the burden of studies and decrease leisure activities.

Granted that, if pupils
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
acquiring related to distinct mother tongues like English, French, and Spanish at their junior schools than this will widen their knowledge level. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
rising their horizon,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it will
also
motivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
toward education. Even they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to know about the culture and traditions related to overseas style. As mother tongues and customs, both
are linked
with each other. To exemplify it a survey conducted by 'the times' revealed that in India, 60%common scholar had
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
about foreigner cultures by grasping English in 2008.
Moreover
, if pupils pursue stranger speech at their kindergartens, it will
surely
useful in later stages of growth like in career development and for migrating to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
places across the world.
Thus
, it is understandable that how foreign accent influence the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
of public institution students.

Despite the above, I concede that this trend will raise the pressure of study among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
elementary institutionalized children are around 6-8years. They are not mature to handle the burden of study. If schools will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
non-native dialects in junior schools, this will exert adverse ramifications of their results.
Additionally
, it will decrease the leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, those are essential for holistic development of scales. At this stage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to do physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for growth and development. If they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
learning about the strange language Of this period, this will definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the time for playing and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that grasping oversea sound in kindergarten is detrimental for pupils.

In conclusion
,
even though
, this trend seems beneficial for increasing knowledge and later soul, I believe that it will release pressure
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
time for physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Classroom education is more helpful in life than lessons learned at home. Use specific examples and reasons for your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
359 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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