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City council is planing to pull down one of the historic buildings in your town because they do not have funds to renovate it. As a citizen you don't want it to happen. Write a letter to a city council and sayWhat is the importance of the building? W v.1

City council is planing to pull down one of the historic buildings in your town because they do not have funds to renovate it. As a citizen you don't want it to happen. Write a letter to a city council and sayWhat is the importance of the building? W v. 1
In Britain, government spends money to take care of residents in retirement homes. However, some people belong to the opinion that this expenditure should be borne by the families itself. I am in accord with this group, and the factors leading to my opinion are described below. There are many reasons why family is responsible to look after older people, and the most pivot one being that the grownups might have suffered too much hardship in their lives to engender their offspring. Therefore, it is the duty of progenies to take care of their parents, rather than letting them spend their declining years in any old age homes. For example, Majority of the Indian families are following a culture of taking complete responsibilities of their progenitors. Results of annual surveys conducted by the ministry of human resources development in India, shows older people are enjoying the happiness in spending their remaining life with their children. Secondly, governments are already budgeting too much money for the benefit of civilians, in many ways, like free education, free hospital care, and public transports. Moreover, some countries facilitate them with an income after retirement, in the form of pension, for the welfare of older people. Take the example of gulf countries, where government provides an amount of cash monthly to older citizens, while their families look after them from illness at home. So, there is no need of spending additional money for nursing these oldies. To sum up, it is clear that families should meet the expenses for the treatment of older people. And my opinion is well supported by the facts that governments are already spending enough money for the well-being of elderly people, and families held moral responsibilities to look after their old members of the family.
In Britain,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
spends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to take care of residents in retirement homes.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
belong to the opinion that this expenditure should
be borne
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
itself. I am in accord with this group, and the factors leading to my opinion are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
below.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is responsible to look after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, and the most pivot one being that the grownups might have suffered too much hardship in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
to engender their offspring.
Therefore
, it is the duty of
Possible spelling mistake found.
progenies
to take care of their parents,
rather
than letting them spend their declining years in any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age homes.
For example
,
It seems that an article is missing.
Majority of
the Indian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are following a culture of taking complete responsibilities of their progenitors. Results of annual surveys conducted by the ministry of human resources development in India,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are enjoying the happiness in spending their remaining life with their children.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
are already budgeting too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for the benefit of civilians, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways, like free education, free hospital care, and public transports.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries facilitate them with an income after retirement, in the form of pension, for the welfare of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Take the example of gulf countries, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
provides an amount of cash monthly to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
citizens, while their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
look after them from illness at home.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, there is no need of spending additional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for nursing these oldies.

To sum up, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the expenses for the treatment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. And my opinion is
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well supported
by the facts that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
are already spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for the well-being of elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
held moral responsibilities to look after their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
members of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay City council is planing to pull down one of the historic buildings in your town because they do not have funds to renovate it. As a citizen you don't want it to happen. Write a letter to a city council and sayWhat is the importance of the building? W v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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