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Choose one of the following transportation vehicles and explain whyyou think it has changed people’s lives. • automobiles• bicycles• airplanesUse specific reasons and examples to support your answer v.1

Choose one of the following transportation vehicles and explain whyyou think it has changed people’s lives. • automobiles• bicycles• airplanesUse specific reasons and examples to support your answer v. 1
It is a common fact that more immigrants from developing nations to developed ones in order to seek for a better living environment for their children. Some people support their decisions will benefit their children's growth and development; while, others believe that new living environments will bring drawbacks for their children. The essay will discuss the both views and presents my opinion that early relocation to a new country will benefit children. To begin with, relocating from a poor country to a developed one will provide more friendly and peaceful living environment for children. Moreover, harmonious communities, better educational resources, clean living environment with close-zero pollutions, and universal health care assessors in new countries will benefit children's thriving as well. For example, Chinese immigrants in Canada provide a safer environment for their Chinese to thrive in Canadian communities. At least, in current contemporary are, their children are living in a society without being threatened by infected by corona viruses. Their children have much happier lives in schools without facing extremely heavy study tasks as those in China. On the other hand, some people believe that relocating to a new nation will bring negative impact on the young newcomers. They will encounter with culture shock, language barrier, different climate, and so on. All these will create challenges for these young newcomers. For example, after landing in Canada, all young newcomers are required to write the English assessment exam and then will be placed in ESL classes. All these newcomers may feel detrimentally due to language barriers in new schools.  They may suffer from psychological issues due to lack of new friends in new schools or communities. Moreover, they might not gain enough support from their parents who also are going through similar conditions as well. In my opinion, I personally opine that emigration to a developed countries will benefit the young newcomers if they can focus on overcome cultural shocks by learning the language and being open-mind to accept a new culture. Moreover, newcomers should obtain assistances from local communities to adapt themselves to navigate the societies and be willing to learn the different cultures. In conclusion, relocating toward a new developed nation will face challenges due to above reasons. However, the benefits of the relocation will benefit the young newcomers if they are willing to work hard to adapt themselves to learn in the new environments. Therefore, parents should start to educate their children before their relocation, start in order to prevent the above drawbacks.
It is a common fact that more immigrants from developing nations to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
ones in order to seek for a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
support their decisions will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
their children's growth and development; while, others believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environments
will bring drawbacks for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. The essay will discuss the both views and presents my opinion that early relocation to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
children.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, relocating from a poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
one will provide more friendly and peaceful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Moreover
, harmonious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
, better educational resources, clean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
with close-zero pollutions, and universal health care assessors in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
children's thriving
as well
.
For example
, Chinese immigrants in Canada provide a safer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
for their Chinese to thrive in Canadian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
. At least, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
contemporary are, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a society without
being threatened
by infected by
The term "coronaviruses" (= disease) is spelled as one word.
corona viruses
. Their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have much happier
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in schools without facing
extremely
heavy study tasks as those in China.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that relocating to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
nation will bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newcomers
. They will encounter with culture shock, language barrier,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
climate, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. All these will create challenges for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newcomers
.
For example
, after landing in Canada, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newcomers
are required
to write the English assessment exam and then will
be placed
in ESL classes. All these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newcomers
may feel
detrimentally
due to language barriers in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
schools.  They may suffer from psychological issues due to lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
friends in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
schools or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
.
Moreover
, they might not gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
support from their parents who
also
are going through similar conditions
as well
.

In my opinion, I
personally
opine that emigration to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "country"?
countries
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newcomers
if they can focus on overcome cultural shocks by learning the language and being open-mind to accept a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
culture.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newcomers
should obtain
Possible spelling mistake found.
assistances
from local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
to adapt themselves to navigate the societies and be willing to learn the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures.

In conclusion
, relocating toward a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
nation will face challenges due to above reasons.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
of the relocation will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newcomers
if they are willing to work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to adapt themselves to learn in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environments
.
Therefore
, parents should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to educate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
their relocation,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the above drawbacks.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Choose one of the following transportation vehicles and explain whyyou think it has changed people’s lives. • automobiles• bicycles• airplanesUse specific reasons and examples to support your answer v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
413 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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