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Children who grow up in families which are short of money are better prepared with the problems of adult life than children who are brought up by wealthy parents. Agree or disagree v.2

Children who grow up in families which are short of money are better prepared with the problems of adult life than children who are brought up by wealthy parents. Agree or disagree v. 2
Who are better prepared to face adulthood problem - children brought up either in destitute condition or wealthier family? Some think that children from lower-class background are good to handle a hassle in adult life than those from rich class. I agree with this view as such children, know the value of money and they become independent. Knowing the value of money is an obvious reason which assists destitute children to cope up well with the problem of adulthood. Even though these children do not have their own bedroom, enough money to fulfil their wish and often study under a street light, unlike rich children, they try to be ecstatic with whatever they have. Due to not having luxurious things, resulting in them knowing the actual value of money. For example, a recent report by the Times of India in January 2019 found that 60% of children from weak financial background recognize the value of money than those from high-class children during their adulthood. Being independent is another imperative reason. To elucidate, parents’ of poor children do not have much to offer them such as the best university, education or luxurious life. So, their guardian allows them to do a part-time job and pursue their dreams with relentless efforts. As a result, they tend to be independent. Owing to this independence, they are ever ready to face obstacles during adult life. For example, a survey conducted by Harvard University revealed that 68% of children who are from poor background are independent and able to persist studies by holding down a part-time job to those children who are from the rich class background. In conclusion, although it is believed by some people that children from lavish family are much prepared to face a problem, knowing the value of money and being independent both qualities are essential to face adulthood challenges which I think poor children possess more to other rich children.
Who are better prepared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
adulthood problem
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
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children
brought up either in destitute condition or wealthier family?
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from lower-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
background are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to handle a hassle in adult life than those from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view as such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, know the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
money and
they become independent.

Knowing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is an obvious reason which assists destitute
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to cope up well with the problem of adulthood.
Even though
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do not have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
bedroom,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to fulfil their wish and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
study under a street light, unlike
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, they try to be ecstatic with whatever they have. Due to not having luxurious things, resulting in them knowing the actual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
For example
, a recent report by
If the term is a proper noun, use the suggested capitalization.
the Times of India
in January 2019 found that 60% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from weak financial background recognize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
than those from high-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
during their adulthood.

Being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
independent
is another imperative reason. To elucidate, parents’ of poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do not have much to offer them such as the best university, education or luxurious life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, their guardian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to do a part-time job and pursue their dreams with relentless efforts.
As a result
, they tend to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
independent
. Owing to this independence, they are ever ready to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
obstacles during adult life.
For example
, a survey conducted by Harvard University revealed that 68% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who are from poor background are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
independent
and able to persist studies by holding down a part-time job to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who are from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
background.

In conclusion
, although it
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from lavish family are much prepared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
a problem, knowing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
independent
both qualities are essential to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
adulthood challenges which I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
possess more to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Children who grow up in families which are short of money are better prepared with the problems of adult life than children who are brought up by wealthy parents. Agree or disagree v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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