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While some people consider global warming to be the most pressing environment problem which we have at the moment, others believe that deforestation has a more devastating impact on our world. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. v.1

While some people consider global warming to be the most pressing environment problem which we have at the moment, others believe that deforestation has a more devastating impact on our world. v. 1
Earth is the only place among other the planets which we can find life's. There are many major problems which consider really harmful for the human growth. Global warming and deforestation are the two most important one's which are discussed in following paragraphs. According to my opinion, Both have their own drawbacks, but green house gasses have more side effects. First and foremost, I would like to discuss about global warming because it is the biggest issue for all nations with the changes on the planet layer. For example, many studies showed that the earth ozone layer has been damaged very rapidly because leavel of C02 on earth is going up daily. Due to factors air or water pollution. Furthermore, many people assert that dirtiness in the air has worse now than past few decades. To illustrate, The surveys of many Indian universities depicted that 70% of air in Delhi area are not good for individuals healthy life because of traffic and industrial pollution. Which have the cause of very serious health diseases. On the other hand, Some people believe that deforestation is also the big trouble for the environment. In many countries, people's cutting down the trees for their own benefits. Which is the biggest reason for the floods. For instance, Roots of the tress provides a strong protection to soil specially in rainy season's. Which helps soil to stay in the one place for a long time. Moreover, Deforestation also leads to climate changes and water leavel on the planet. To exemplify, Due to high leavel of deforestation water leavel in many areas going down. Most of the Arab countries facing temperature issues become of climate changes. To sum up, I think that global warming is a more major problem than deforestation nowadays because it has effects on all words. But, can not ignore deforestation. So, we should come together to save our earth.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Earth
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
place among other the planets which we can find life's. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
major problems which consider
really
harmful for the human growth. Global warming and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
deforestation
are the two most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
one's which
are discussed
in following paragraphs. According to my opinion, Both have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
drawbacks,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
green
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
gasses have more side effects.

First
and foremost, I would like to
Did you mean simply "discuss global"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about global
warming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is the biggest issue for all nations with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
on the planet layer.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
studies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
ozone layer has
been damaged
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
rapidly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Possible spelling mistake found.
leavel
of C02 on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
is going up daily. Due to factors air or water pollution.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
assert that dirtiness in the air has worse
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
than past few decades. To illustrate, The surveys of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Indian universities depicted that 70% of air in Delhi area are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for individuals healthy life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of traffic and industrial pollution.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
have the cause of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
serious health diseases.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
deforestation
is
also
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
trouble for the environment. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's cutting down the trees for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefits. Which is the biggest reason for the floods.
For instance
, Roots of the tress provides a strong protection to soil
specially
in rainy season's. Which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
soil to stay in the one place for a long time.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Deforestation
also
leads to climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
and water
Possible spelling mistake found.
leavel
on the planet. To exemplify, Due to high
Possible spelling mistake found.
leavel
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
deforestation
water
Possible spelling mistake found.
leavel
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
areas going down. Most of the Arab countries facing temperature issues become of climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
.

To sum up, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that global warming is a more major problem than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
deforestation
nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has effects on all words.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
deforestation
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
together to save our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay While some people consider global warming to be the most pressing environment problem which we have at the moment, others believe that deforestation has a more devastating impact on our world. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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