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Children today play very violent games. This must be the reason for the increase in violence and crime in most major cities world. What are your opinion on this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.5

In past, there was not huge information about everything in all over the world, therefore, people had their unique lifestyle. In this day and age, with technology, it is inevitable to not be aware of information that existed in the whole world. In my opinion, it is must be true that children learn violence through the media and from people’s behaviour. As we can see, children tend to play indoor games like video games and they often choose the violent game. Due to the high crime rate, people want to care for their children more than before, even may tell them stories about the crimes which happened recently in their neighbourhood. They believe that children must be aware of dangerous situations to be ready for acting properly. Besides, the internet and news are full of this information and everyone could easily read it and find out what is going on. These thoughts may affect our communication and society. Since children undergo this situation, they tend to play more violent games and even be happy with them. Although these acts of violence might harm their feelings unconsciously and gradually be part of their characters in future, they are interested in playing it or even play with their friends and combat with each other. They struggle to win and do everything to not to be a looser. To draw in conclusion, I think if violent games increase sharply, it will have a bad influence on people, especially on children’s traits.

Did you mean: “In the past”?In the past
In past
, there was It seems that the adverb “not” is incorrect in this context.no huge information
not huge information
 about everything in all over the world, therefore
, You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
 had their unique lifestyle. In this day and age, with technology, it is inevitable to not be aware of information that existed in the whole world.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
 my opinion, it is This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :require
must
 be true that You use this word too often, consider replacing it withinfanttoddleradolescentjuvenileyouthteenager
children
 learn violence through the media and from You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people’s
Possible spelling mistake. ‘behaviour’ is British English.behavior
behaviour
. As we can This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :witness
see
, You use this word too often, consider replacing it withinfanttoddleradolescentjuvenileyouthteenager
children
 tend to play indoor You use this word too often, consider replacing it withplaysportbusiness
games
 like video Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).games, and
games and
 they This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:frequently
often
 choose the violent game.

Due to the high crime rate, You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
 want to care for their You use this word too often, consider replacing it withinfanttoddleradolescentjuvenileyouthteenager
children
 more than This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:previouslyprior to
before
, even may This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :inform
tell
 them stories about the crimes which happened recently in their Possible spelling mistake. ‘neighbourhood’ is British English.neighborhood
neighbourhood
. They believe that You use this word too often, consider replacing it withinfanttoddleradolescentjuvenileyouthteenager
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :require
must
 be aware of This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:hazardousrisky
dangerous
 situations to be ready for acting properly
.

Besides
, the internet and news are full of this information and everyone could easily
 read it and find out what is going on. These thoughts may affect our communication and society.

Since You use this word too often, consider replacing it withinfanttoddleradolescentjuvenileyouthteenager
children
 undergo this situation, they tend to play more violent You use this word too often, consider replacing it withplaysportbusiness
games
 and even be happy with them. Although these acts of violence might harm their feelings unconsciously
 and gradually
 be part of their characters The phrase ‘in future’ is British English. Did you mean: “in the future”?in the future
in future
, they are interested
 in playing it or even play with their friends and combat with each other. They struggle to win and do everything One ‘to’ seems to be obsolete.to notnot to
to not to
 be a looser.

To draw in conclusion
, I This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :reckonassumebelieveconsider
think
 if violent You use this word too often, consider replacing it withplaysportbusiness
games
 increase sharply
, it will have a This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :evil
bad
 influence on You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
, especially
 on You use this word too often, consider replacing it withinfanttoddleradolescentjuvenileyouthteenager
children’s
 traits. 