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Children should not be forced to develop good penmanship since computers and other mobile devices have done away with the need for having good handwriting. What are your views on the subject? v.2

Yes I believe that, teenagers must not be emphasized to acquire better handwriting skills because nowadays technologies such as computer machines and gadgets have ruled out the concern of good handwriting. Firstly this essay will discuss about why the significance of writing with hands has become negligible and secondly how latest technology has changed the aspects of humans towards writing. In this modern age, hand written scripts are at the edge of extinct. People prefer typing over writing by their hands these days and they find it quite convenient as well as time-saving. It is not only help to complete the task in less time, despite that it is also easy to maintain and shared with multiple persons. For instance, it has been noticed, many schools in India are shifting their paper based work to digital one, that helps them to save the cost of papers and reduce the paper waste thus it also benefits the environment. On the other hand, advanced technics and methods have changed the attitude of human beings about writing. Computers and mobile devices are user friendly and use of these gadgets has become part of life for major people. These machineries come with inbuilt software which assist in writing digitally. People do not have to worry about their handwriting, grammar, spelling, word count as all this are taken care by the software installed in these devices. For example, it has been observed that in the state of Maharashtra, government encourages the citizens by providing additional benefits to those who are able to manage or convert their paper work to digital platform, and by this approach last year they have seen tremendous decrease in wastage of papers. To summarize, even though having a best handwriting was key factors in ancient times, however its importance has become minor in today’s world due to advance development of technology and devices.
Yes I believe that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not
be emphasized
to acquire better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
handwriting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
nowadays technologies such as computer machines and gadgets have ruled out the concern of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
handwriting
.
Firstly
this essay will
Did you mean simply “discuss why”? You do not need the word “about” here.
discuss about why
the significance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writing
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hands
has become negligible and
secondly
how
A determiner is probably missing here: “the latest”.
latest
technology has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the aspects of humans towards writing.

In this modern age,
This word is normally spelled as one.
hand written
scripts are at the edge of extinct.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
prefer typing over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writing
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hands
these
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
days and
they find it quite convenient
as well
as time-saving. It is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to complete the task in less time, despite that it is
also
easy to maintain and shared with multiple persons.
For instance
, it has
been noticed
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
schools in India are shifting their paper based work to digital one, that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to save the cost of papers and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the paper waste
thus
it
also
benefits the environment.

On the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hand
, advanced technics and methods have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the attitude of human beings about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writing
. Computers and mobile devices are
This word is normally spelled with a hyphen.
user friendly
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of these gadgets has become part of life for major
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. These
Possible spelling mistake found.
machineries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with inbuilt software which assist in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writing
digitally
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
worry about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
handwriting
, grammar, spelling, word count as all this
are taken
care by the software installed in these devices.
For example
, it has
been observed
that in the state of Maharashtra,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
encourages the citizens by providing additional benefits to those who are able to manage or convert their paper work to digital platform, and by this approach last year they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
tremendous decrease in wastage of papers.

To summarize
,
even though
having
Use “the” with the superlative.
a
best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
handwriting
was key factors in ancient times,
however
its importance has become minor in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world due to advance development of technology and devices.
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Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay Children should not be forced to develop good penmanship since computers and other mobile devices have done away with the need for having good handwriting. What are your views on the subject?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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