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Children should not be forced to develop good penmanship since computers and other mobile devices have done away with the need for having good handwriting. What are your views on the subject? v.1

Children should not be forced to develop good penmanship since computers and other mobile devices have done away with the need for having good handwriting. What are your views on the subject? v. 1
It is irrefutable that, the people are becoming lazier with the developments in technology. Now, there is no such job which a human is unable to do. Nowadays, exercises including writing, reading, playing, etc. become mobilized which sequentially reduced the physical power. In this essay, I intend to delve into the needs and importance of writing and having a good penmanship. To begin with, hand writing has a greater relation to the brain development. For Instance, a research conducted by University of Stamford states that, developing good writing skills can stimulate the brain by motor nerves associated with the physical activity. Children should be encouraged to write with their hands, which can help them in brain developmental. Studies have proved that while writing with hands, the concentration level will increase as there will be the coordination of various nerves including the brain and eyes along with the muscles. This can help the kids to memorize the contents and which in turn help them in studies. Moreover, the good hand script can be the representation of a nice person. For example, Calligraphy is a technique of writing in various fonts and styles which has a lot of fans all over the world. There are many institutions which teach this method. To continue with, while using the gadgets like mobile and computer, the UV light coming out these can damage the young one’s eyes which in succession can damage the intellect. Furthermore, there are many people famous for their long hands. For example, Prakriti Malla, an 8-year-old girl, gained national attention in her native Nepal last year, was subsequently given an award by the Nepalese government and has in recent months gone viral worldwide on a range of social media platforms. To put it in a nutshell, it is better to make the youngster understanding about the need of having a good penmanship and can encourage them for developing their skills instead of compelling. In my opinion, children should be motivated to write instead of forcing to do so. Every seed needs some space to grow, if you press it hard, it won’t flourish.
It is irrefutable that, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are becoming lazier with the developments in technology.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, there is no such job which a human is unable to do. Nowadays, exercises including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writing
, reading, playing, etc. become mobilized which
sequentially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the physical power. In this essay, I intend to delve into the needs and importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writing
and having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
penmanship.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writing
has a greater relation to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brain
development.
For Instance
,
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
conducted by University of Stamford states that, developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
can stimulate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brain
by motor nerves associated with the physical activity. Children should
be encouraged
to write with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hands
, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brain
developmental. Studies have proved that while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writing
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hands
, the concentration level will increase as there will be the coordination of various nerves including the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brain
and eyes along with the muscles. This can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the kids to memorize the contents and which in turn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in studies.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hand
script can be the representation of a nice person.
For example
, Calligraphy is a technique of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writing
in various fonts and styles which has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
fans all over the world. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
institutions which teach this method.

To continue with, while using the gadgets like mobile and computer, the UV light coming out these can damage the young one’s eyes which in succession can damage the intellect.
Furthermore
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
for their long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hands
.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Prakriti
Possible spelling mistake found.
Malla
, an 8-year-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
girl, gained national attention in her native Nepal last year, was
subsequently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
an award by the Nepalese
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and has in recent months gone viral worldwide on a range of social media platforms.

To put it in a nutshell, it is better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the youngster understanding about the need of having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
penmanship and can encourage them for developing their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
instead
of compelling. In my opinion, children should
be motivated
to write
instead
of forcing
Did you mean "doing"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'force' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
. Every seed needs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
space to grow, if you press it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
, it won’t flourish.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Children should not be forced to develop good penmanship since computers and other mobile devices have done away with the need for having good handwriting. What are your views on the subject? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
352 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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