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children should learn practical skills (cook, personal finance) in addition to their academic skills. Agree or disagree? v.1

children should learn practical skills (cook, personal finance) in addition to their academic skills. Agree or disagree? v. 1
Studying online is becoming increasingly popular amongst the students, compared to traditional based classes. This essay will discuss why students are more interested to go for online studies rather than visiting classes, and what institutes can do to get them back to the classes. There are several reasons why children today prefer online education as an alternative to face-to-face classes. The primary reason is convenience for students, as they do not have to travel to an education centre for the lectures. Moreover, they save time by opting for the distance-learning course, as a result, they get more hours to study along with performing extra activities instead of investing time on travelling. The second reason would be the effectiveness through e-learning. Pupils can use the lectures to the fullest by reiterating them whenever they want, which helps them resolve doubts if they have any by listening lesson again. For instance, if a student needs to understand something that is missed during the first e-lecture, they can play the tutorial again to understand it. There are several schemes which educational bodies can imply to bring the students back to classes. Firstly, they can limit the number of online classes. For example, if a student wants to have an e-education they only get a part of lecture the rest they need to visit the college and have to finish. Secondly, institutions can provide the on-campus accommodation facilities at a reasonable cost, this will attract more students as their travelling time will reduce and they will be able to attend lectures at the college. In conclusion, the main reasons for opting e-learning is because it is convenient for far residing children as they can save and effective as it helps to resolve doubts by listening lectures as and when they want. However, the universities can attract more pupil by restricting e-training courses and by providing hostel facilities to all the students.
Studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
is becoming
increasingly
popular amongst the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, compared to traditional based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
. This essay will discuss why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are more interested to go for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
studies
rather
than visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
, and what institutes can do to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
them back to the classes.

There are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
education as an alternative to face-to-face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
. The primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is convenience for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, as they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
travel to an education
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lectures
.
Moreover
, they save time by opting for the distance-learning course,
as a result
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more hours to study along with performing extra activities
instead
of investing time on travelling. The second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
would be the effectiveness through e-learning. Pupils can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lectures
to the fullest by reiterating them whenever they want, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them resolve doubts if they have any by listening lesson again.
For instance
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
needs to understand something that
is missed
during the
first
e-lecture, they can play the tutorial again to understand it.

There are several schemes which educational bodies can imply to bring the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
back to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
.
Firstly
, they can limit the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
.
For example
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
wants to have an e-education they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lecture
the rest they need to visit the college and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
finish.
Secondly
, institutions can provide the on-campus accommodation facilities at a reasonable cost, this will attract more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
as their travelling time will
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
reduce and
they will be able to attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lectures
at the college.

In conclusion
, the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for opting e-learning is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is convenient for far residing children as they can save and effective as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to resolve doubts by listening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lectures
as and when they want.
However
, the universities can attract more pupil by restricting e-training courses and by providing hostel facilities to all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay children should learn practical skills (cook, personal finance) in addition to their academic skills. Agree or disagree? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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