Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Children should do community service in their free time as it will be good for them and the society. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Children should do community service in their free time as it will be good for them and the society. v. 1
Community service has recently become increasingly popular especially among adolescents. Many people claim that teenagers should do social service during their leisure time as it is advantageous to themselves as well as their society. From my own perspective, these services are part of their duties thus they must be done during their free time for several reasons which will be discussed in this essay. There are those who argue that the youth should not do these voluntary services in their free time. It is believed that teenagers should spend their luxury time studying or working in lieu of wasting it in community service. For instance, working in their free time will enrich them with experience, which will definitely help them when they grow up. Additionally, it is claimed that there is always more to learn. In other words, extra time might be used for extracellular learning activities, for example, learning a new language or even specific skills. It is no doubt that free time is highly valuable and must be wisely used. However, I completely disagree that community service will waste the teenagers’ extra time. Quite on the contrary, doing community service is propitious and has a positive impact on both the society and the adolescents doing it. With regards to the society, it will create a feeling of cooperation and support between people, which will help avoiddisjointed communities. Researchers have found that more than half of the societies nowadays appear to be fragmented as a result of the advancements in technology. Consequently, people will get to know each other and this will improve their relationships. Not only is community service beneficial to the society, but it is also helpful to the person doing it. Such services will allow the youth to gain fruitful skills especially teamwork. Since they will be working in groups, they will learn how to efficiently deal with different personalities, which is essential for their future careers as many people fail to work in a team. Considering these advantages, doing community service is a must for all teenagers in order to effectively spend their free time. To conclude, there are numerous assets which will be gained upon doing a social service, therefore, teenagers are advised to participate in such services in their free time to benefit themselves and their own community in various ways as previously discussed in this essay.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
has recently become
increasingly
popular
especially
among adolescents.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
should do social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
during their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
as it is advantageous to themselves
as well
as their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. From my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perspective, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
are part of their duties
thus
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be done
during their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for several reasons which will
be discussed
in this essay.

There are those who argue that the youth should not do these voluntary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. It
is believed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
should spend their luxury
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
studying or working in lieu of wasting it in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
.
For instance
, working in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
will enrich them with experience, which will definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them when they grow up.
Additionally
, it
is claimed
that there is always more to learn.
In other words
, extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
might be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for extracellular learning activities,
for example
, learning a new language or even specific
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. It is no doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is
highly
valuable and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
wisely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.
However
, I completely disagree that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
will waste the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers’
extra time.

Quite
on the contrary
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
is propitious and has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and the adolescents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
it.
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
With regards to
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, it will create a feeling of cooperation and support between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
Possible spelling mistake found.
avoiddisjointed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
. Researchers have found that more than half of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
nowadays appear to
be fragmented
as a result
of the advancements in technology.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know each other and this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their relationships. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
beneficial to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
also
helpful to the person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
it. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
the youth to gain fruitful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
especially
teamwork. Since they will be working in groups, they will learn how to
efficiently
deal with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
personalities, which is essential for their future careers as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
fail to work in a team. Considering these advantages,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
in order to
effectively
spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
time.

To conclude
, there are numerous assets which will
be gained
upon
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
a social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
,
therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
are advised
to participate in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to benefit themselves and their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
in various ways as previously discussed in this essay.
21Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
53Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Children should do community service in their free time as it will be good for them and the society. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
394 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts