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Children over 15 years should be allowed to take their own decision without any interference from Their parents. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

Children over 15 years should be allowed to take their own decision without any interference from Their parents. v. 2
I would not prefer to supporting this idea of making the decision by themselves over 15 years old because of some reasons. But most of the parents faced with that situation, which their children decide to make decisions themselves by their own perspective, and it is hard to pull to them. The first reason of my thought is the children often don' t know some situation' s harmful results. Although, they think believing themselves is the right way, instead of following their parents until the see the result of decisions on teenage. For instance, I feel it myself on every step of my life, and now I supposed to take advice from my family. Secondly, most of the teenagers over 15 is making decisions by their emotional on that situation. Sometimes following emotional thoughts make life better, but in another hand, it is riskier. For example, I decided to go camping with my classmates in middle school while my parents tried to stop me, but my mates drunk and fought between each other. Then I apologize to hang out with them. As a result, I realized to make decisions with my parents is more influence than make decisions alone because of many cases like I mentioned above. So I would like to stand with the side of children doesn' t make decisions themselves without any advice from their parents.
I would not prefer to
Did you mean "support"?
supporting
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of making the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
by themselves over 15 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
faced with that situation, which their children decide to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
themselves by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perspective, and it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to pull to them.

The
first
reason of my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
is the children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t know
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
situation&
#039; s harmful results. Although, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
believing themselves is the right way,
instead
of following their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
until the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the result of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
on teenage.
For instance
, I feel it myself on every step of my life, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
I supposed to take advice from my family.

Secondly
, most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
over 15 is making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
by their emotional on that situation.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
following emotional thoughts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
life better,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in another hand, it is riskier.
For example
, I decided to go camping with my classmates in middle school while my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
tried to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
me,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
my mates drunk and fought between each other. Then I apologize to hang out with them.

As a result
, I realized to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
with my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
is more influence than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
alone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases like I mentioned above.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I would like to stand with the side of children
Possible spelling mistake found.
doesn&
#039; t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
themselves without any advice from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Children over 15 years should be allowed to take their own decision without any interference from Their parents. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
229 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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