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Children nowadays watch significantly more television than those in the past, which reduces their activity levels accordingly. Why is this the case? What measures can you suggest to encourage higher levels of activüy among children? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience. v.2

Children nowadays watch significantly more television than those in the past, which reduces their activity levels accordingly. Why is this the case? What measures can you suggest to encourage higher levels of activüy among children? v. 2
Youth currently prefers to observe lots of entertainment programs than kids in the past, due to which it is affecting their routine activities. In my opinion, I believe that, lack of social movement is the main reason why children today are addicted to television. This essay will discuss about my ideas to improve daily fitness among young kids. On the one hand, adolescents are getting more addicted to virtual world, rather than understanding reality, due to which they have preferred to watch the idiot box most often making them away far from communities. These events are occurring due to inadequacy of attention and absence of encouragement. For example, In the past, parents used to encourage their offsprings to engage in various activities that used to take place in their societies, if required, even used to participate in those competitions to cheer and boost their confidence further, making their toddler away from entertainment box, while today, most families are focusing on their work time and could not able to balance their personal and professional course making their sprout isolated from surroundings. In my view, no progeny can learn to walk and speak without help of their wellspring. It all starts from his mother or father who encourages their toddler to stand by holding their hands, in the same way, no adolescent can involve at an event in social gatherings without the help of their ancestors. Finally, in conclusion, i can conclude that descendants prefer to observe telly rather than outdoor activities because of loss of encouragement from their guardian. If, a parent manages to control their personal life and professional life, it would become a stepping stone in their child involvement in the lot of activities which boost their willpower and relieving them from their daily stress.
Youth
currently
prefers to observe lots of entertainment programs than kids in the past, due to which it is affecting their routine
activities
. In my opinion, I believe that, lack of social movement is the main reason why children
today
are addicted
to television. This essay will
discuss about my
ideas
to
improve
daily fitness among young kids.

On the one hand, adolescents are getting more addicted to virtual world,
rather
than understanding reality, due to which they have preferred to
watch
the idiot box most
often
making them away far from communities. These
events
are occurring due to inadequacy of attention and absence of encouragement.
For example
, In the past, parents
used
to encourage their
offsprings
to engage in various
activities
that
used
to take place in their societies, if required, even
used
to participate in those competitions to cheer and boost their confidence
further
, making their toddler away from entertainment box, while
today
, most families are focusing on their work time and could not able to balance their personal and professional course making their sprout isolated from surroundings.

In my view, no progeny can learn to walk and speak without
help
of their wellspring. It all
starts
from his mother or father who encourages their toddler to stand by holding their hands,
in the same way
, no adolescent can involve at an
event
in social gatherings without the
help
of their ancestors.

Finally
,
in conclusion
,
i
can conclude that descendants prefer to observe
telly
rather
than outdoor
activities
because
of loss of encouragement from their guardian. If, a parent manages to control their personal life and professional life, it would become a stepping stone in their child involvement in the lot of
activities
which boost their willpower and relieving them from their daily
stress
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Children nowadays watch significantly more television than those in the past, which reduces their activity levels accordingly. Why is this the case? What measures can you suggest to encourage higher levels of activüy among children? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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