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For school children, their teachers have more influence on their intelligence and social development than their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.4

It is true that school children are in impressionable age and two strong influences on their intelligence and social development are parent and teacher, while I accept that teacher has more influence on intelligence pupils but I would argue that parent play a vital role on social development, In terms of encouraging intellectual and stimulating the intelligence of their school children, I believe that teacher play a major role, while not all teacher capable to inspiring their children, they trained to impart subject to students by imaginable and challenging way, for example high rang of student owe the lifelong love to subject course to dedicated teachers who taught this discipline in secondary school, of course at home parents may reinforce this passion by encouraging study habits during the formative years of children such support is vital for academic achievement. From the perspective of social development, I think that parents are the mainly responsible for guiding their children, firstly they spend far more time with children than the any individual teacher is able to do, and also they can monitor activities of children outside school during holiday and vocations, secondly parents can provide a role model for children in different situations for example respect to elders or help to charity, choice of friend or proper behavior in public situation like restaurant, In conclusion although teacher have a greater influence on stimulating intelligence of school children but parents influence on the development of social skills are more
It is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are in impressionable age and two strong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influences
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
development are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
, while I accept that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
has more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
pupils
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I would argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
play a vital role on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
development,

In terms of encouraging intellectual and stimulating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
play a major role, while not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
capable to inspiring their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, they trained to impart subject to students by imaginable and challenging way,
for example
high rang of student owe the lifelong
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to subject course to dedicated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
who taught this discipline in secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
of course
at home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
may reinforce this passion by encouraging study habits during the formative years of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
such support is vital for academic achievement.

From the perspective of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
development, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are the
mainly
responsible for guiding their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
firstly
they spend far more time with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
than the any individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
is able to do, and
also
they can monitor activities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
outside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
during holiday and vocations,
secondly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can provide a role model for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
situations
for example
respect to elders or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to charity, choice of friend or proper behavior in public situation like restaurant,

In conclusion
although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
have a greater
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
on stimulating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
on the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are more
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I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay for school childeren their teacher have more influence on their intelligence and social development than their parents

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
244 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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