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Children do not respect their parents as much as they did in the past This behaviour is now having a negative impact on society Discuss v.1

Children do not respect their parents as much as they did in the past This behaviour is now having a negative impact on society Discuss v. 1
All the governments should consider a special budget on both railways and roads. Most of the people believe that this money must be more for railways rather than roads. Firstly, the railway transportation organization is so important for the reason of its user-friendly and also it's a green technology. The main part of Railway structure is metro and underground, which are used by a large majority of people in their daily works and urban transit. It's also much cheaper than taxis and buses because of its energy resource type. However, in the rush hours, they are almost crowded, which may bother the passengers when they are exhausted and tired of work. On the other hand, the roads and the road based transportation organization are important too. Despite the fact that this kind of transport system is so comfortable and easier to use, it has more risks, for instance, crashes. Automobiles make more pollution and also so much hazardous gas, which are dangerous for everybody's health: In large cities, on of the most critical problem is the traffic that can effect on the mental health of the people and cause a overusing of fuels such as gasoline. The traffic is a disadvantage on the road based transportation, which is similar to the railway's rush hours when the people are tired and need to rest as soon as possible. At the end, I suppose that railways should get more financial supports than roads because of their benefits, if governments want to let their populations live better and healthier.
All the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should consider a special budget on both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that this money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be more for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
rather
than roads.

Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
transportation organization is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the reason of its user-friendly and
also
it's a green technology. The main part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Railway
structure is metro and underground, which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by a large majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in their daily works and urban transit. It's
also
much cheaper than taxis and buses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its energy resource type.
However
, in the rush hours, they are almost crowded, which may bother the passengers when they
are exhausted
and tired of work.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
and the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
road based
transportation organization are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
too. Despite the fact that this kind of transport system is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
comfortable and easier to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
, it has more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
,
for instance
, crashes. Automobiles
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more pollution and
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much hazardous gas, which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for everybody's health: In large cities,
Did you mean "one"?
on
of the most critical problem is the traffic that can effect on the mental health of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and cause
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
overusing of fuels such as gasoline. The traffic is a disadvantage on the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
road based
transportation, which is similar to the railway's rush hours when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are tired
and need to rest as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible.

At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, I suppose that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more financial supports than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their benefits, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
their populations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
better and healthier.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Children do not respect their parents as much as they did in the past This behaviour is now having a negative impact on society Discuss v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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