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2138 describe a friend who is important youyou should saythe name of your friendwhen and where you met this friendwhat kinds of things you and this friend like to do together and explain why this friend is important to you. v.1

2138 describe a friend who is important youyou should saythe name of your friendwhen and where you met this friendwhat kinds of things you and this friend like to do together and explain why this friend is important to you. v. 1
In the recent few decades, the education is given with a much importance towards the bright future of an individual, irrespective of their gender. So, once a student completes her higher secondary with good scores, she is admitted into a university for the undergraduate studies. But, some people have lesser access to good universities near them due to which, they have to leave their family and stay in a hostel to pursue their studies while other people are easily accessible so that they need not leave their living city. Let us discuss in depth regarding the positive and negative aspects of both the cases. Firstly, most of the good universities are present within the city or in the outskirts which are difficult to be reached by the countryside people. Hence the students make up their mind to leave their family temporarily and pursue a quality education. This allows them to know more about survival in a new place and to gain a lot of exposure apart from the regular curriculum. On the other hand, those who are very much family oriented might face severe home sickness. A few students, who are of reserved type might suffer from isolation problems affecting them mentally. Secondly, students who live near the universities travel daily through public transport or private vehicles. This relieves them from other mental pressures like leaving the family, facing a new environment, people, etc. The major drawbacks of these arise in the form of health issues such as back pain or fatigue due to a lot of travelling. Other than the previous one, a student who stays in the hostel have more time to study than the one who travels daily. To conclude with this discussion, I would say that it is up to the students, who make the fullest use of the advantages and try to overcome the disadvantages in order to achieve their ultimate aim of getting a good education.
In the recent few decades, the education is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
with
Maybe you should omit the article 'a', leaving only "much".
a much
importance towards the bright future of an individual, irrespective of their gender.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, once a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
completes her higher secondary with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
scores, she
is admitted
into a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
for the undergraduate studies.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have lesser access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
near them due to which, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and stay in a hostel to pursue their studies while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
easily
accessible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they need not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their living city.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us discuss in depth regarding the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects of both the cases.

Firstly
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
are present within the city or in the outskirts which are difficult to
be reached
by the countryside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
up their mind to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
temporarily
and pursue a quality education. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to know more about survival in a new place and to gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
exposure apart from the regular curriculum. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
oriented might face severe home sickness. A few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are of reserved type might suffer from isolation problems affecting them mentally.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
near the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
travel daily through public transport or private vehicles. This relieves them from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
mental pressures like leaving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, facing a new environment,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, etc. The major drawbacks of these arise in the form of health issues such as back pain or fatigue due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
travelling.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Other
than the previous one, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
stays in the hostel have more time to study than the one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
travels daily.

To conclude
with this discussion, I would say that it is up to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the fullest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the advantages and try to overcome the disadvantages in order to achieve their ultimate aim of getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
education.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay 2138 describe a friend who is important youyou should saythe name of your friendwhen and where you met this friendwhat kinds of things you and this friend like to do together and explain why this friend is important to you. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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