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Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past 30 years in the world that many cities now are "one big traffic jam". Do you think that this statement is true? What measure can government take to address this problem? (rewrite1) v.3

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past 30 years in the world that many cities now are "one big traffic jam". Do you think that this statement is true? What measure can government take to address this problem? (rewrite1) v. 3
Beyond doubt, job interviews are widely applied in many companies around the world these days. In this sense, in accordance with some individuals this approach does not appear to have an important role in the employee recruitment process to find out the worthiness of the potential staff. I partially concur with this notion due to several reasons, however, it cannot be overtaken by other existing alternatives. From the one angle, there are a few factors that make job interviews be of a great importance in terms of hiring suitable candidates for a particular sector. Primarily, during the conversation, the employer is expected to give psychological questions driving interviewees to think deeply and respond in a natural way as a result, they are highly likely to display the level of their interpersonal skills and the communicativeness as well. From the other angle, interviews can come ineffective for some reasons. Initially, knowing about the interview, majority applicants have a propensity to get self-prepared for the conversation in advance which can trick interviewers in discovering the behaviour and the outlook of candidates. Consequently, it is believed to bring about possible problematic cases later. Instead, they are suggested to let them work for a short span of time giving job assignments that intend to examine them both physically and mentally. To conclude, I would uphold the conviction that job interviews are not the best way to decide upon the suitability of the employee. Notwithstanding, it is the efficient approach to test candidates' reactions in various circumstances
Beyond doubt,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interviews
are
widely
applied in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
around the world these days. In this sense, in accordance with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals this approach does not appear to have an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the employee recruitment process to find out the worthiness of the potential staff. I
partially
concur with this notion due to several reasons,
however
, it cannot
be overtaken
by other existing alternatives.

From the one angle, there are a few factors that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interviews
be of a great importance in terms of hiring suitable candidates for a particular sector.
Primarily
, during the conversation, the employer is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to give psychological questions driving interviewees to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
deeply
and respond
Consider replacing "in a natural way" with the adverb for "natural"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a natural way
as a result
, they are
highly
likely to display the level of their interpersonal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and the
Possible spelling mistake found.
communicativeness
as well
.

From the other angle,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interviews
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
ineffective for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons.
Initially
, knowing about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interview
, majority applicants have a propensity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
self-prepared for the conversation in advance which can trick interviewers in discovering the
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and the outlook of candidates.
Consequently
, it
is believed
to bring about possible problematic cases later.
Instead
, they
are suggested
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them work for a short span of time giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
assignments that intend to examine them both
physically
and mentally.

To conclude
, I would uphold the conviction that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interviews
are not the best way to decide upon the suitability of the employee. Notwithstanding, it is the efficient approach to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
candidates' reactions in various circumstances
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past 30 years in the world that many cities now are "one big traffic jam". Do you think that this statement is true? What measure can government take to address this problem? (rewrite1) v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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