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Buying things on the internet such as books, air tickets and groceries is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v.6

Buying things on the internet such as books, air tickets and groceries is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 6
These days online shopping became very popular. So, some people prefer to buy from the internet, while others believe that it is not safe. This essay will discuss both side and draw my personal conclusion. In one hand. Time is important for everyone, some people do not have time to do shopping from the stores. For example, most shops nowadays close at eight o’clock while online stores are open in every time and every day. So, that is why some people think that buying from the internet is the best. On the other hand, the internet has spread a lot in the last years and a lot of website and online stores are available today. But there is one research has made in Maastricht University about the fake websites, they found that from ten regular online store there is one unregular online store. These fake websites might steal credits card information if someone bought from them. Hence the belief that online shops are not safe. In addition 80% of USA people use the internet to buy most of the things they need. Some of them do not think whether if it safe or not and that led to a lot of stealing cases. But most of them bought their stuff from popular websites such as Amazon and Bol. com and more because it is safe and a lot of people used them. This proves clearly that most of the people trust to buy from a known website. In conclusion, after a careful analysis of both views. I believe that the positive outweighed the negatives of this case.
These days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shopping became
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
from the internet, while others believe that it is not safe. This essay will discuss both side and draw my personal conclusion.

In one hand. Time is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for everyone,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have time to
The usual collocation for an activity ending in "-ing" is "go" not "do" or "play." Revise: "go shopping".
do shopping
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
.
For example
, most shops nowadays close at eight o’clock while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
are open in every time and every day.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
that is
why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that buying from the internet is the best.

On the other hand
, the internet has spread a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
in the last years and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
website
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
are available
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
there is one research has made in Maastricht University about the fake websites, they found that from ten regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
there is one
Possible spelling mistake found.
unregular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
. These fake websites might steal credits card information if someone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
from them.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
the belief that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shops are not safe.

In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
80% of USA
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the internet to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
most of the things they need.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
whether if
It seems that a verb is missing after "it". Please verify.
it
The word "safe" is an adjective. Did you mean the verb "save"?
safe
or not and that led to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of stealing cases.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
most of them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
their stuff from popular websites such as Amazon and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bol
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
com
and more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is safe and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
them. This proves
clearly
that most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
trust to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
from a known website.

In conclusion
, after a careful analysis of both views. I believe that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outweighed the negatives of this case.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Buying things on the internet such as books, air tickets and groceries is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 6

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
267 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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