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Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages? v.20

Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages? v. 20
Online shopping like books, air tickets and household items has become extremely common nowadays. In my opinion, purchasing items online has several advantages like time conservation and fuel economy, which outweigh any minor disadvantages it might have. Despite the drawbacks below Shopping items online is extremely beneficial as it saves time of roaming in the markets. In other words, the products which require several hours of reconnaissance to search in a market can be easily found via online browsing. Nowadays, time is considered money so the time which is saved can be utilized for constructive purposes. Another benefit of online shopping is fuel economy. that is the amount of fuel burnt to reach the market can be saved if orders are placed on the internet. hence, this mode of shopping is budget friendly as well. Online shopping has few minor, side effects like items which are purchased may not fit in size. Compared to actual shopping when we actually wear the dress or shirt to see its fitting its not possible in online shopping. Hence the items may be wasted or if return policy is available there may be additional hustle of sending it back and replacing it. Another drawback might be online frauds with credit card, we use to pay the bills. With the increasing incidence of cyber crime, there have been incidents of thefts form credit card and people have suffered. In conclusion, while online shopping has few drawbacks like the size discrepancy of cress or credit card fraud, the advantages are far more.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
like books, air tickets and household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
has become
extremely
common nowadays. In my opinion, purchasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
has several advantages like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
conservation and fuel economy, which outweigh any minor disadvantages it might have.

Despite the drawbacks below
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
is
extremely
beneficial as it saves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of roaming in the markets.
In other words
, the products which require several hours of reconnaissance to search in a market can be
easily
found via
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
browsing. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is considered
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
which
is saved
can
be utilized
for constructive purposes. Another benefit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is fuel economy.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
that
is the amount of fuel burnt to reach the market can
be saved
if orders
are placed
on the internet.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
hence
, this mode of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is budget friendly
as well
.

Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has few minor, side effects like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
may not fit in size. Compared to actual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
when we actually wear the dress or shirt to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
its fitting its not possible in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
may
be wasted
or if return policy is available there may be additional hustle of sending it back and replacing it. Another drawback might be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
frauds with credit card, we
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
pay the bills. With the increasing incidence of cyber crime, there have been incidents of thefts form credit card and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have suffered.

In conclusion
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has few drawbacks like the size discrepancy of cress or credit card fraud, the advantages are far more.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages? v. 20

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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