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Bus Service Elimination Planned The university has decided to discontinue its free bus service for students The reason given for this decision is that few students ride the buses and the buses are expensive to operate Currently the buses run from th v.1

Bus Service Elimination Planned The university has decided to discontinue its free bus service for students The reason given for this decision is that few students ride the buses and the buses are expensive to operate Currently the buses run from th v. 1
In the last 30 years, many aspects of our daily lives have changed dramatically. One of these aspects is technology as it has influenced the pace of life itself. Relevantly, as our kids are growing in a connected world that depends on technology in every aspect, we cannot choose to isolate them from their context. This point has been the centre of a critical debate in the sphere of parenting. Specifically, two different approaches were suggested by two groups of people that provide unique alternatives for letting our children make use of their free time, which is the basis for the idea of preventing self-isolation. The first group suggests that we should encourage children to take part in organized group activities. Such approach is basically meant to enhance the overall social skills of kids. In that sense, it aims at improving their communication skills and self-awareness skills that would allow them to recognize their true potential within a certain community. Based on my experience, it was very useful for me to engage in a drawing class when I was 8 years old as it has improved my ability to talk with others. This is truly important. On the other hand, the second opinion is primarily based on the principle of freedom. I believe that the most important aspect about this approach is that it sets no boundary in the thinking process of the youth as it recognizes and respects their capability to come up with ideas of things to do in their spare time. As a matter of fact, for most of my childhood, I have had the chance to decide what to do in my own free time. This has empowered me in an outstanding way. For instance, when I was at school, I was given enough space to come up with my own propositions for what to do after I finish my homework. Consequently, I am mostly aligned with the second opinion for the reasons mentioned above. Most of all, if we ask our kids to take strong decisions when they grow up, we should let them now be able to decide for themselves.
In the last 30 years,
many
aspects
of our daily
lives
have
changed
dramatically
. One of these
aspects
is technology as it has influenced the pace of life itself.

Relevantly
, as our kids are growing in a connected world that depends on technology in every
aspect
, we cannot choose to isolate them from their context. This point has been the
centre
of a critical debate in the sphere of parenting.

Specifically
, two
different
approaches
were suggested
by two groups of
people
that provide unique alternatives for letting our children
make
use
of their free time, which is the basis for the
idea
of preventing self-isolation.

The
first
group suggests that we should encourage children to
take part
in organized group activities. Such approach is
basically
meant to enhance the
overall
social
skills
of kids. In that sense, it aims at improving their communication
skills
and self-awareness
skills
that would
allow
them to recognize their true potential within a certain community. Based on my experience, it was
very
useful for me to engage in a drawing
class
when I was 8 years
old
as it has
improved
my ability to talk with others. This is
truly
important
.

On the other hand
, the second opinion is
primarily
based on the principle of freedom. I believe that the most
important
aspect
about this approach is that it sets no boundary in the thinking process of the youth as it recognizes and respects their capability to
come
up with
ideas
of things to do in their spare time. As a matter of fact, for most of my childhood, I have had the chance to decide what to do in my
own
free time. This has empowered me
in an outstanding way
.
For instance
, when I was at school, I was
given
enough
space to
come
up with my
own
propositions for what to do after I finish my homework.

Consequently
, I am
mostly
aligned with the second opinion for the reasons mentioned above. Most of all, if we ask our kids to take strong decisions when they grow up, we should
let
them
now
be able to decide for themselves.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Bus Service Elimination Planned The university has decided to discontinue its free bus service for students The reason given for this decision is that few students ride the buses and the buses are expensive to operate Currently the buses run from th v. 1

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
356 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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