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the university has decided to discontinue its free bus service for students. the reason given for this decision is that few students ride the buses and the buses are expensive to operate. currently the buses run from the center of campus past university s v.1

the university has decided to discontinue its free bus service for students. the reason given for this decision is that few students ride the buses and the buses are expensive to operate. currently the buses run from the center of campus past university s v. 1
In the present date, there are more and more private elementary school following globalize trend. Not only they add many language courses, but also import a lot of foreign teachers. Even so elementary students could receive these education with some drawback, likewise, their study schedule will be tight and it will increase a significant burden on the children. This essay will analyse the advantages and disadvantages of adding a foreign language class in primary school. To begin with, the main disadvantages of teaching foreign language are growth disruption and high tuition cost. Even if the school could have added language course out of their good will, the students have to carry more responsibility such as, tight schedule, less play and more homework at this young age. As the growth is important for a child, these children need a certain amount of time for themselves to develop both mind and body. For example, they could not have many football match due to the tight schedule for the course and become less active. Besides, elementary school with these courses will have to increase their tuition fee to cover the increasing cost, as a consequence, their parents might have to withdraw their children from these school. On the contrary, the main advantage of teaching foreign language in a grade school is their age, free time and opportunity. Regarding the period of growth that have high capability to learn and adapt which they have a lot of free time, youthful mind, and full support from their parents. Thus, they could improve their skill quickly because these students do not have any responsibility. The higher grade therefore have to deal with their career path, homework, and necessary task. Moreover, if they could learn a secondary language in their early education life, they might have had broadened their study while they are attending their high school period. For example, Robotic area which is infamous of majorly of its textbook were written in English. In the same manner, knowing the secondary language will broaden their social life. If they could have been proficient in English or known many languages, they might have made many foreign friends by now. To summarize, elementary school with foreign language education can out weight the disadvantage as these children will need these benefits in their future. It is better if they could at least proficient with their secondary language before they enter their high school. As they could relieve this task beforehand.
In the present date, there are more and more private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elementary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
following globalize
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "trends"?
trend
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
import
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
teachers. Even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elementary
students could receive
Did you mean "this education" or "these educations"?
these education
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawback,
likewise
, their study schedule will be tight and it will increase a significant burden on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. This essay will
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
the advantages and disadvantages of adding a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
in primary school.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the main disadvantages of teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
are growth disruption and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
tuition cost. Even if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
could have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
out of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
will, the students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
carry more responsibility such as, tight schedule, less play and more homework at this young age. As the growth is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for a child, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
need a certain amount of time for themselves to develop both mind and body.
For example
, they could not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
football match due to the tight schedule for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
and become less active.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elementary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
with these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
increase their tuition fee to cover the increasing cost, as a consequence, their parents might
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
withdraw their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from these school.

On the contrary
, the main advantage of teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in a grade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is their age, free time and opportunity. Regarding the period of growth that have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
capability to learn and adapt which they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
free time, youthful mind, and full support from their parents.
Thus
, they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
quickly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these students do not have any responsibility. The higher grade
therefore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
deal with their career path, homework, and necessary task.
Moreover
, if they could learn a secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in their early education life, they might have had broadened their study while they are attending their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
period.
For example
, Robotic area which is infamous of
majorly
of its textbook
were written
in English. In the same manner, knowing the secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
will broaden their social life. If they could have been proficient in English or known
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
, they might have made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
friends by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.

To summarize
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elementary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
education can out weight the disadvantage as these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will need these benefits in their future. It is better if they could at least proficient with their secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they enter their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
they could relieve this task beforehand.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay the university has decided to discontinue its free bus service for students. the reason given for this decision is that few students ride the buses and the buses are expensive to operate. currently the buses run from the center of campus past university s v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
410 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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