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Briefly summerize the problem of the speakers and explain which solution you would recommend and why? v.1

Briefly summerize the problem of the speakers and explain which solution you would recommend and why? v. 1
Many minority languages get extinct every year. Some people claim these languages are not essential, because life will be easier, provided there are fewer languages in the world. It is completely disagreed that fewer languages can make the life easier. This is proved by discussing that, preserving the native languages globally will help people to be connected with each other as well as the future generations need to understand their roots. Firstly, these local languages brings in a sense of comfort and can easily connect people around. Further, these languages have their own identity in terms of cultural characteristics. Moreover, people find it easy to communicate in their mother tongue. For instance, people in London are leading a good life despite being a home for people with different languages. Therefore, all the languages must be preserved in order to stay connected with each other. Secondly, the future generation must continue using native language in order to understand their roots. In addition, this will bring in a sense of family bonding and emotional attachment among people. Moreover, when the languages are spoken routinely, then it does not die out. For example, the indigenous tribes of Australia still speak a traditional native language and this reflects their attachment to the roots of their origin. In conclusion, the languages do not die provided they are used in day to day communication. Finally, the life will be convenient when the people speak in their native language, which in-turn reflects their attachment to the people and their culture.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
minority
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
extinct every year.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
are not essential,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
will be easier, provided there are fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
in the world. It is completely disagreed that fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
easier. This
is proved
by discussing that, preserving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
globally will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
be connected
with each other
as well
as the future generations need to understand their roots.

Firstly
, these local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
brings in a sense of comfort and can
easily
connect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around.
Further
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
identity in terms of cultural characteristics.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find it easy to communicate in their mother tongue.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in London are leading a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
despite being a home for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
.
Therefore
, all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be preserved
in order to stay connected with each other.

Secondly
, the future generation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
continue using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in order to understand their roots.
In addition
, this will bring in a sense of family bonding and emotional attachment among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Moreover
, when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
are spoken
routinely
, then it does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
out.
For example
, the indigenous tribes of Australia
still
speak a traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
and this reflects their attachment to the roots of their origin.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
provided they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in day to day communication.
Finally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
will be convenient when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
speak in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, which in-turn reflects their attachment to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and their culture.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Briefly summerize the problem of the speakers and explain which solution you would recommend and why? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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