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Both the poor and the rich find the accessibility into a university difficult. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Both the poor and the rich find the accessibility into a university difficult. v. 1
University is a place where people learn specializations in a particular field. The rich as well as the poor find it difficult to pursue education in these universities. In my opinion, I partially agree with this statement. It is easier for the rich students to make to the universities, As they can afford to pay all the academic tuition fees. Even though these candidates are weak in their studies, they can utilize the facility of attending additional tuition classes. For instance, there will be an exam conducted to choose the eligible candidates into the university. Even then, if they can’t make into the universities because of the cutoff scores on entrance exams, there are special management seats, which come at a higher cost than the usual ones, which can only be afforded by the people who have money On the other hand, the situation with the poor is different. Most of the poor will not be able to pay for the tuition fees. Even if this involves brilliant students, they will be deceived their position, possibly by the students who enters through a management seat. For example, Many countries now have incorporated scholarships for the students who excel in their studies in schools and not able to pay for the universities. This facility may not be facilitated to all as there will be only limited applications for these. In conclusion, I would like to say that it is easy for the rich to access the universities whereas it is reasonably difficult for the poor. This situation could be changed by the government if it agrees on providing free education for all citizen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
is a place where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
learn specializations in a particular field. The rich
as well
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
find it difficult to pursue education in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
. In my opinion, I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement.

It is easier for the rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
, As they can afford to pay all the academic tuition fees.
Even though
these candidates are weak in their studies, they can utilize the facility of attending additional tuition classes.
For instance
, there will be an exam conducted to choose the eligible candidates into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. Even then, if they can’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the cutoff scores on entrance exams, there are special management seats, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
at a higher cost than the usual ones, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be afforded
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who have
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
money


On the other hand
, the situation with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
will not be able to pay for the tuition fees. Even if this involves brilliant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, they will
be deceived
their position,
possibly
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
Did you mean "enter"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'students' should be used.
enters
through a management seat.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
have incorporated scholarships for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who excel in their studies in schools and not able to pay for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
. This facility may not
be facilitated
to all as there will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
limited applications for these.

In conclusion
, I would like to say that it is easy for the rich to access the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
whereas it is
reasonably
difficult for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
. This situation could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
if it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
on providing free education for all
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
citizen
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
A foreign language is like a frail, delicate muscle. If you do not use it, it weakens.
Jhumpa Lahiri

IELTS essay Both the poor and the rich find the accessibility into a university difficult. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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