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Write about a person who has had an important influence on you. Describe the person, explain how they influenced you, and why they have been important in your life. v.1

Write about a person who has had an important influence on you. Describe the person, explain how they influenced you, and why they have been important in your life. v. 1
To start this topic, every person has an important person in their life. There is a person called Chandra, whom I admired more while I started my career. I will be explaining him, and the way I got inspired by him in the following passages. Firstly, let me explain about him, his name is Chandrasekar, he completed his bachelor in computer science and working in the same company where I joined as a fresher after my graduation. Currently, he is my manager in the organization and there are 6 people are reported under him. He never fails me to inspire by the way he works, not only in the technical stuff, but also in the leadership qualities. For example, he guided me in everything like, how to go meeting in an effective way, such as taking pen and notebooks, attending on time, etc. He navigates me in the right path in every situation by giving hard punishments. He was rude, but it is all for good to me. For instance, he is one of the notable people in my life, especially in my work life. The way his work in the office, every day I used to get inspired. Moreover, I used to do the same way, then understand how much I got influenced by him. To conclude, every person will try to teach something, however you need to pick up the right person to influence you, so I took him as an inspiration in my work life. People get easily influenced by the others, that is the nature of human tendency.
To
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start
this topic, every
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person
has an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. There is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
called Chandra, whom I admired more while I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
my career. I will be explaining him, and the way I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
inspired by him in the following passages.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
me
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
about him, his name is
Possible spelling mistake found.
Chandrasekar
, he completed his bachelor in computer science and working in the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
where I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
as a fresher after my graduation.
Currently
, he is my manager in the organization and there are 6
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are reported
under him.

He never fails me to inspire by the way he works, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in the technical stuff,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
in the leadership qualities.
For example
, he guided me in everything like, how to go meeting
Consider replacing "in an effective way" with the adverb for "effective"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an effective way
, such as taking pen and notebooks, attending on time, etc. He navigates me in the right path in every situation by giving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
punishments. He was rude,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is all for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to me.

For instance
, he is one of the notable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
especially
in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. The way his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in the office, every day I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
inspired.
Moreover
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to do the same way, then understand how much I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
influenced by him.

To conclude
, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
will try to teach something,
however
you need to pick up the right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
to influence you,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I took him as an inspiration in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
easily
influenced by the others,
that is
the nature of human tendency.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Write about a person who has had an important influence on you. Describe the person, explain how they influenced you, and why they have been important in your life. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
262 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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