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Blood sports have become a hot topic for debate in recent years. As society develops it is increasingly seen as an uncivilized activity and caused to helpless animals that are killed. All blood sports should be banned. Discuss the main arguments for this statement & give your opinion v.2

Blood sports have become a hot topic for debate in recent years. As society develops it is increasingly seen as an uncivilized activity and caused to helpless animals that are killed. All blood sports should be banned. Discuss the main arguments for this statement & give your opinion v. 2
From time immemorial, the reference of sports using animals had been a quite contentious issue. However, with today's emerging society, the dreadful sport has been seen as very harmful and cruel to the creatures used. Thus, some suggest that it should be banned. This essay will discuss both sides before a reasonable conclusion is made. To begin with, it had been a tradition since ages that people use animals for some kind of sports. To buttress, there are shreds of evidence about the existence of animals for games in historical documents. Competitions like lion fights, met one in Roman culture are clear examples. The reason behind this was painted on the adrenaline rush it gives the players. In addition, huge money is also realized from this. For example, bets are placed and the owners of the winning animals take the money. This can be seen as few of the reasons people engage in such activity. However, the violent nature of this is undoubtedly terrifying. Often times, the creatures used are either left dead or in deep excruciating pain. To cite a personal example. I once watched one of the blood spots on television. The dogs were sent in turns to fight a duck, which had already run into the sea for safety. The dog that successfully kills the duck wins. Most of the dogs got drowned by the river, but one. Obviously, one can see that these animals are merely exploited just for human pleasure. It is a good thing that due to the consequences of such sports, some private and non governmental organisations are protesting against these and thus it should be omitted from some cultures. To conclude, blood sports are such an inhumane activity, which causes pain and death to the animals exploited. In my view, the dreadful game should be extirpated. Therefore, it should be a combined effort of the government and the people to make sure that such sporting activity is effaced.
From time immemorial, the reference of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
had been a quite contentious issue.
However
, with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's emerging society, the dreadful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
harmful and cruel to the creatures
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.
Thus
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
suggest that it should
be banned
. This essay will discuss both sides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
a reasonable conclusion
is made
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it had been a tradition since ages that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. To buttress, there are shreds of evidence about the existence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for games in historical documents. Competitions like lion fights, met one in Roman culture are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
examples. The reason behind this
was painted
on the adrenaline rush it gives the players.
In addition
, huge money is
also
realized from this.
For example
, bets
are placed
and the owners of the winning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
take the money. This can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as few of the reasons
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
engage in such activity.

However
, the violent nature of this is
undoubtedly
terrifying.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Often
times, the creatures
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
are either
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
dead or in deep excruciating pain. To cite a personal example. I once
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
one of the blood spots on television. The dogs were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
in turns to fight a duck, which had already run into the sea for safety. The dog that
successfully
kills the duck wins. Most of the dogs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
drowned by the river,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
one.
Obviously
, one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are
merely
exploited
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for human pleasure. It is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing that due to the consequences of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
private and
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
non governmental
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
are protesting against these and
thus
it should
be omitted
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cultures.

To conclude
, blood
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are such an inhumane activity, which causes pain and death to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
exploited. In my view, the dreadful game should
be extirpated
.
Therefore
, it should be a combined effort of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that such sporting activity
is effaced
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Blood sports have become a hot topic for debate in recent years. As society develops it is increasingly seen as an uncivilized activity and caused to helpless animals that are killed. All blood sports should be banned. Discuss the main arguments for this statement & give your opinion v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
326 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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