Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Blood sports have become a hot topic for debate in recent years. As society develops it is increasingly seen as an uncivilized activity and cruel to the helpless animals that are killed. Blood sports should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Blood sports have become a hot topic for debate in recent years. As society develops it is increasingly seen as an uncivilized activity and cruel to the helpless animals that are killed. Blood sports should be banned. v. 1
In modern times, the subject of cruelty against animals has become a contentious issue. Helpless animals are pitted against each other, for the pleasure of humans. Blood sports are inhumane and I agree it should be banned completely. ‘Blood’ in blood sports does not come from the blood of the animals, but refers to the blood of royalty when it originated in the 16th century. As a sport for the royalty, the only ones allowed to practice, fox tossing competitions were famous. The foxes were put on a sling and shot out to the sky, with the highest ever recorded was 24 feet. Once the foxes landed, they were scared and attacked the legs and faces of the people throwing them. The cruel actions of tossing them in the air, landing in a heap on the hard ground caused physiological damage to the animal. These kinds of unkind sport were used as an entertainment at parties, especially with couples rivaling against each other. Another blood sport which has been played for 300 years and is practiced in modern times is bullfighting. While illegal in almost all parts of the world, it is still practiced in Spain and Portugal. At the expense of helpless bulls, humans wager and cheer, hoping to make money by gambling. About 250, 000 bulls are killed each year and many more injured in the ring. To summarize, the two examples show how gruesome blood sports are and have been used for the pleasure of humans. Such cruelty does not belong in civilized society and I hope all the efforts taking place to ban such sports are successful.
In modern times, the subject of cruelty against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
has become a contentious issue. Helpless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are pitted
against each other, for the pleasure of humans.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Blood
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are inhumane and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
it should
be banned
completely.

‘Blood’ in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
blood
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
blood
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
refers to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
blood
of royalty when it originated in the 16th century. As a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
for the royalty, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
ones
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
Did you mean "practicing"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'allow' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to practice
, fox tossing competitions were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
. The foxes
were put
on a sling and shot out to the sky, with the highest ever recorded was
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
24 feet
. Once the foxes landed, they
were scared
and attacked the legs and faces of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
throwing them. The cruel actions of tossing them in the air, landing in a heap on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
ground caused physiological damage to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
. These kinds of unkind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as an entertainment at parties,
especially
with couples rivaling against each other.

Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
blood
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
which has
been played
for 300 years and
is practiced
in modern times is bullfighting. While illegal in almost all parts of the world, it is
still
practiced in Spain and Portugal. At the expense of helpless bulls, humans wager and cheer, hoping to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
money by gambling. About 250, 000 bulls
are killed
each year and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more injured in the ring.

To summarize
, the two examples
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
how gruesome
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
blood
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are and have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for the pleasure of humans. Such cruelty does not belong in civilized society and I hope all the efforts taking place to ban such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are successful.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Blood sports have become a hot topic for debate in recent years. As society develops it is increasingly seen as an uncivilized activity and cruel to the helpless animals that are killed. Blood sports should be banned. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts