Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Billions of dollars are spent on space research This is a waste of money More money must be spent on improving the problems of people on Earth To what extent do you agree or disagree v.2

Billions of dollars are spent on space research This is a waste of money More money must be spent on improving the problems of people on Earth v. 2
Money investment on space research seems to be unnecessary as long as money is not used for problem-fixing on our planet. In my opinion, we should firstly concentrate on preservation of Earth and it' s inhabitants and secondly to spend money on space exploration. We must acknowledge that space is an endless place covered with mystery. Our curiosity to explore it' s darkest corners and celestial bodies is growing every day. Furthermore, investing funds for this purpose can be profitable regarding new discoveries of a new possible habitable planet for humans which we evidentally need in terms of still-increasing problems on Earth which we cannot take care of. In addition, these findings could solve one of the most frequently asked question - Are we here alone? However, we should take care of our Green planet on the first place. Even though we fully use all of the potential of Earth' s resources, the quality of living seems to be quite poor. For instance, deteriorating the quality of air we breath concerning air pollution, littering all of the natural beauties and sources and last but not least, life quality of lower classes, speaking of homeless people. Moreover, lots of children in orphanages and children' s home cannot taste anything about life as we cannot give them a real home or more importantly, true love. I believe that the quality of living on our Mother Earth has to be improved on the first place and therefore should be more money invested rather on making a better place to live than on uncertain success of space research and discoveries.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
investment on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
research seems to be unnecessary as long as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for problem-fixing on our planet. In my opinion, we should
firstly
concentrate on preservation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Earth
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
it&
#039; s inhabitants and
secondly
to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
exploration.

We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
acknowledge that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
is an endless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
covered with mystery. Our curiosity to explore
Possible spelling mistake found.
it&
#039; s darkest corners and celestial bodies is growing every day.
Furthermore
, investing funds for this purpose can be profitable regarding new discoveries of a new possible habitable planet for humans which we
Possible spelling mistake found.
evidentally
need in terms of
still
-increasing problems on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Earth
which we cannot take care of.
In addition
, these findings could solve one of the most
frequently
asked question
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
Are we here alone?

However
, we should take care of our Green planet on the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
.
Even though
we
fully
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Consider using "all the".
all of the
potential of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Earth&
#039; s resources, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of living seems to be quite poor.
For instance
, deteriorating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of air we
Did you mean the verb "breathe"? 'breath' is a noun.
breath
concerning air pollution, littering
Consider using "all the".
all of the
natural beauties and sources and last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of lower classes, speaking of homeless
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Moreover
, lots of children in orphanages and
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s home cannot taste anything about life as we cannot give them a real home or more
importantly
, true
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
.

I believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of living on our Mother
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Earth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
on the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
and
therefore
should be more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
invested
rather
on making a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
than on uncertain success of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
research and discoveries.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay Billions of dollars are spent on space research This is a waste of money More money must be spent on improving the problems of people on Earth v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts