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Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant examples if necessary. v.31

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Provide relevant examples if necessary. v. 31
It is often argued that a higher income salary is better than being satisfied in a job. While some would agree on such approach, I would strongly disagree for a couple of reasons. Top begin with, one of the most significant benefits of job satisfaction is that it is often leads to motivation. This is because working within a positive work environment will provide the sense of comfortability and happiness while working and thus creativity will increase. For instance, it is usually believed that an employee who works in a relief work environment will be more creative than that who works under pressure, even if the income is lower. As a result, if an employee earns a higher salary without feeling the sense of being assisted or supported, he will not be inspired by the job. Furthermore, another vital benefit that should be taken into consideration is that a satisfying job will often lead to a better health. The reason with the fact that working habits usually have a direct impact to one’s health, whether negative or positive. To illustrate, a person who works under pressure and in a stressful work environment is more likely to suffer from diabetes or blood pressure than the one who works in a healthy work environment. Consequently, working under pressure will lead to a negative health issues that a high income will not be the solution for these issues. In conclusion, being motivated in a job and having a better health are the two main benefits that are resulted from job satisfaction. I believe that these benefits are much more beneficial than having a higher income.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
salary is better than
being satisfied
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
on such approach, I would
strongly
disagree for a couple of reasons.

Top
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, one of the most significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction is that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
leads to motivation. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
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working
within a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
will provide the sense of
Possible spelling mistake found.
comfortability
and happiness while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
and
thus
creativity will increase.
For instance
, it is
usually
believed that an employee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
works in a relief
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
will be more creative than that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
works under
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
, even if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
is lower.
As a result
, if an employee earns a higher salary without feeling the sense of
being assisted
or supported, he will not
be inspired
by the job.

Furthermore
, another vital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
that should
be taken
into consideration is that a satisfying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
lead to a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. The reason with the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
habits
usually
have a direct impact to one’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, whether
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
. To illustrate, a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
works under
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
and in a stressful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
is more likely to suffer from diabetes or blood
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
than the one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
works in a healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
under
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
will lead to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues that a high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
will not be the solution for these issues.

In conclusion
,
being motivated
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and having a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
are the two main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
that
are resulted
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction. I believe that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
are much more beneficial than having a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Provide relevant examples if necessary. v. 31

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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