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As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual well-being. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers? Give reasons for your answer and give any relevant example or experience you have to support your answer. v.9

As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual well-being. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers? v. 9
There is the ongoing discussion whether or not job satisfaction is essential for individual’s well-being. Since most people spend a considerable amount of time on work and job satisfaction indeed is important. This essay will emphasize on various factors contributing for job fulfillment and extent of rational assumptions of work environment. Several factors contribute job satisfaction to individual’s well-being. Firstly, a good compensation package is on top of the list, because with the increased expenses in the country, a good salary with benefits acts as a long term savior for a family person. Secondly, the proximity of work location to one’s residence benefits the health status of the individual. For example, in summer travelling long distances results in sunstroke. Thirdly, providing adequate leaves decrease the stress of individual and improve the quality of product of the company in the long run. However, every person works in different prospective. Therefore, it is not rational for everyone to feel satisfied with their job, because people’s expectation from their employers are much higher than the reality, that is they have often complained that the salaries and benefits are insufficient to meet their needs. For instance, a survey conducted in Thailand factory demonstrated that even though the individual’s received the competitive salaries yet most of them were unhappy. To sum up, Job satisfaction plays an essential role in the well-being of from great income package, to work locations and leave policies. However, it is not clear whether it is realistic to expect job fulfilment since every individual has their own incentives of working.
There is the ongoing discussion
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether". It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
whether or not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
is essential for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual’s
well-being. Since most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
spend a considerable amount of time on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
indeed
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. This essay will emphasize on various factors contributing for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
fulfillment and extent of rational assumptions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
environment.

Several factors contribute
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual’s
well-being.
Firstly
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
compensation package is on top of the list,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
with the increased expenses in the country, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
salary with benefits acts as a long term savior for a family person.
Secondly
, the proximity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
location to one’s residence benefits the health status of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
.
For example
, in summer travelling long distances results in sunstroke.
Thirdly
, providing adequate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
decrease the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of product of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
in the long run.

However
, every person works in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
prospective.
Therefore
, it is not rational for everyone to feel satisfied with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s expectation from their employers are much higher than the reality,
that is
they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
complained that the salaries and benefits are insufficient to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their needs.
For instance
, a survey conducted in Thailand factory demonstrated that
even though
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual’s
received the competitive salaries
yet
most of them were unhappy.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
plays an essential role in the well-being of from great income package, to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
locations and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
policies.
However
, it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
whether it is realistic to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
Possible spelling mistake. 'fulfilment' is British English.
fulfilment
since every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
has their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
incentives of working.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual well-being. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers? v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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