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big salary is more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagre? v.5

big salary is more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagre? v. 5
It is undeniable that human being has to work throughout his life span in order to spend a better lifestyle. However, some people insist that the highest salaries in the job are more required than one's inner perfection towards the job. This essay will argue why high paying employment is an absolute imperative despite the potential benefits of individual's satisfaction in the task and I personally believe that satisfied work environment is entirely necessary. To begin with, the people who are in favour of earning, salary from the job rather than convenience in the workplace have a valid reason. Because money is a necessity of life and for the payment of expenses a large amount of salary is required and it would be only possible when a person prefer the money instead of workforce culture. Indeed, there have been some recorded instances of employees who are working in the international companies and they offer large packages of a salary, but their working conditions are totally unreliable in terms of conflict with the co-workers and much more. Thus, earning a large sum of wage is certainly a worthwhile. Despite this, the vast majority people have considered an internal happiness is a biggest wealth, as it is seen that if the relationship between the employees is really judgmental, then it is really difficult to concentrate on that kind of atmosphere and some employees quit their jobs due to the unfavourable working conditions. Because along with the higher pay the satisfaction in one's work is increasingly beneficial even for the workers or the company. For example, according to the survey of the Hindustan Times, 70% of employees appreciate the job satisfaction factor rather than well paying jobs. Overall, the comfortability factor while working is immensely an incredible in nature. In conclusion, people who are against the pleasure in the workplace have a flawed understanding of the concept. This essay argued why inner involvement of employees in the workstation has immense benefits and as far I concerned, I prefer the favourable workplace environment rather than big income.
It is undeniable that human being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
work throughout his life span in order to spend a better lifestyle.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
insist that the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
are more required than one's inner perfection towards the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. This essay will argue why high paying employment is an absolute imperative despite the potential benefits of individual's satisfaction in the task and I
personally
believe that satisfied work environment is
entirely
necessary.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of earning,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
rather
than convenience in the workplace have a valid reason.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
money is a necessity of life and for the payment of expenses a large amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
is required
and it would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
possible when a person
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "prefers".
prefer
the money
instead
of workforce culture.
Indeed
, there have been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
recorded instances of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
who are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in the international
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
companies and
they offer large packages of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
conditions are
totally
unreliable in terms of conflict with the co-workers and much more.
Thus
, earning a large sum of wage is
certainly
Probably a noun is missing in this part of the sentence.
a worthwhile
.

Despite this, the vast majority
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have considered an internal happiness is
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
biggest wealth, as it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that if the relationship between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
is
really
judgmental, then it is
really
difficult to concentrate on that kind of atmosphere and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
quit their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
due to the
Possible spelling mistake. 'unfavourable' is British English.
unfavourable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
conditions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
along with the higher pay the satisfaction in one's work is
increasingly
beneficial even for the workers or the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
For example
, according to the survey of the Hindustan Times, 70% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
appreciate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction factor
rather
than well paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
Overall
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
comfortability
factor while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
is
immensely
an incredible in nature.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are against the pleasure in the workplace have a flawed understanding of the concept. This essay argued why inner involvement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
in the workstation has immense benefits and as far I concerned, I prefer the
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
workplace environment
rather
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
income.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay big salary is more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagre? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
343 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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