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Beside a lot of advantages, some people believe that the Internet creates many problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Besides a lot of advantages, some people believe that the internet creates many problems. with this statement? v. 2
Despite a lot of benefits that internet gives us, certain people trust that it creates lots of difficulties. This essay agrees with the fact that internet has lots of problems than benefits. Firstly, Young people commit suicide due to internet. Secondly, internet kills valuable time among young people. Young people self harm themselves due to internet. There are certain social media websites on internet like facebook and instagram. Where you can create a profile without any government ID and start texting people, some fraud people create fake profile and start blackmailing young people for money and sexual favours. Young people have no other choice except suicide. for instance recently an article was published in New York times in which it was stated that suicide rate among people was mostly due to social media websites like facebook, instagram etc. Internet Kills time among young people. Certain games like Pub G mobile where you can download on internet has a huge impact on young people, the game consists runs 6 hours a day, with new level every alternate day. Young people spend there time playing this type of games killing there valuable time. For instance government of INDIA recognized this game as “time killer” and banned it. In conclusion, although Internet has many benefits some people believe that it has a lot of problems like suicide of young people and destroying the valuable time by using internet
Despite a
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lot
of benefits that internet gives us, certain
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people
trust that it creates
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lots
of difficulties. This essay
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agrees
with the fact that internet has
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lots
of problems than benefits.

Firstly
,
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Young
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people
commit suicide due to internet.
Secondly
, internet kills valuable
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time
among
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young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Young
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people
self harm themselves due to internet. There are certain social media websites on internet like
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
and
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instagram
. Where you can create a profile without any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
ID and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
texting
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people
,
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some
fraud
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people
create fake profile and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
blackmailing
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young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for money and sexual
Possible spelling mistake. 'favours' is British English.
favours
.
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Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have no other choice except suicide.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
instance recently an article
was published
in New York
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times
in which it
was stated
that suicide rate among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
was
mostly
due to social media websites like
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
instagram
etc.

Internet Kills
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time
among
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young
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people
. Certain
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games
like Pub G mobile where you can download on internet has a huge impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, the game consists runs 6 hours a day, with new level every alternate day.
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Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend there
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time
playing this type of
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games
killing there valuable
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time
.
For instance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of INDIA recognized this game as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
“time
killer” and banned it.

In conclusion
, although Internet has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that it has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of problems like suicide of
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young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and destroying the valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
by using internet
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Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Beside a lot of advantages, some people believe that the Internet creates many problems. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
234 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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