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Being a celibrity –such as a famous film start or sports personality- brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems? v.2

Being a celibrity –such as a famous film start or sports personality- brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems? v. 2
Become a famous person could give you advantages and disadvantages. Although being a celebrity has the benefit of earning a great amount of money, also have the trouble that they lose their privacy. Nonetheless, in my opinion, always would be better being a star, for the reason that the world has managed for power and money, so if you have both elements, you could live steadily. However, be famous has their problems as well. Overall, they complain about their privacy, ergo, they cannot walk quietly in the street, because fans follow them for all the places. Also, stars have a live quite stressful, for the reason that their careers are competitive. For example, celebrities, in general, are professions such as singers, sports personality and film actors. Hence whether they fail, likely will lose several benefits. On the other hand, be recognize for many people is one of the positives things to be a star, because this mean that you are an influencer and what you doing or saying will have an impact in the society. Besides, probably they will paying very well for what they like to do. For instance, artists such as JLo or Chayanne with their 50 years looks like very happy with their jobs. In conclusion, the discussion about whether being a celebrity have most positives or negatives things always will be a current topic. In my view, all people in the earth want to be recognize, even the group of persons that say what they do not interesting. I believe this, due to the human live in society, then while more popular is more benefits will be able to have.
Become a
famous
person could give you advantages and disadvantages. Although being a celebrity has the benefit of earning a great amount of money,
also
have the trouble that they lose their privacy. Nonetheless, in my opinion, always would be better being a star, for the reason that the world has managed for power and money,
so
if you have both elements, you could
live
steadily
.

However
, be
famous
has their problems
as well
.
Overall
, they complain about their privacy, ergo, they cannot walk
quietly
in the street,
because
fans follow them for all the places.
Also
, stars have a
live
quite stressful, for the reason that their careers are competitive.
For example
, celebrities,
in general
, are professions such as singers, sports personality and film actors.
Hence
whether they fail, likely will lose several benefits.

On the other hand
, be
recognize
for
many
people
is
one of the positives things to be a star,
because
this mean that you are an influencer and what
you doing
or saying will have an impact in the society.
Besides
,
probably
they will
paying
very
well for what they like to do.
For instance
, artists such as
JLo
or
Chayanne
with their 50 years looks like
very
happy with their jobs.

In conclusion
, the discussion about whether being a celebrity have most positives or negatives things always will be a
current
topic. In my view, all
people
in the earth want to be
recognize
, even the group of persons that say what they do not
interesting
. I believe this, due to the human
live
in society, then while more popular is more benefits will be able to have.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Being a celibrity –such as a famous film start or sports personality- brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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