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Being a celebrity- such as famous film star or sports personality- brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems? v.6

Being a celebrity- such as famous film star or sports personality- brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems? v. 6
Almost every human on planet earth has a dream of being a famous hero. Sometimes it is good and sometimes is not, what makes a difference is the way they deal with it. On the one hand, there are disadvantages to be considered as well for being a superstar. For instance, they may face criticism from the public if they do not perform well and we have seen in the past, there were many cricketers where they were heavily criticised by their fans by not performing well during World Cup 2007. Celebrities have to pay large amount of taxes to the government as their annual income is much higher than common citizens. In addition, they do not enjoy their life openly whenever they go out in public places as many fans forced them to have a picture or an autograph so they may reluctant to go out with their families. On the other hand, being a star has a unique personality from other general people. They have lavish lifestyle as they travel around the world for shooting and can easily afford anything in order to fulfil their desire. Moreover, many brands would also like to hire for their brand endorsement where they can get to pay handsome money for the advertisement. Not only this, many fans follow their stars and make them their idol like a God, where every individual become inspired by their character. For example, cricketer like Shahid Afridi is known by the title of ‘Boom Boom Afridi’ because every youngster wants to hit big shots like him. In conclusion, being a famous personality has both pros and cons. It is a gift which few people get out of millions. With a little inconvenience, I think it has more benefits than troubles.
Almost every human on planet earth has a dream of being a
famous
hero.
Sometimes
it is
good
and
sometimes
is not, what
makes
a difference is the way they deal with it.

On the one hand, there are disadvantages to
be considered
as well
for being a superstar.
For instance
, they may face criticism from the public if they do not perform
well and
we have
seen
in the past, there were
many
cricketers where they were
heavily
criticised
by their fans by not performing well during World Cup 2007. Celebrities
have to
pay large amount of taxes to the
government
as their annual income is much higher than common citizens.
In addition
, they do not enjoy their life
openly
whenever they go out in public places as
many
fans forced them to have a picture or an autograph
so
they
may reluctant
to go out with their families.

On the other hand
, being a star has a unique personality from other general
people
. They have lavish lifestyle as they travel around the world for shooting and can
easily
afford anything in order to fulfil their desire.
Moreover
,
many
brands would
also
like to hire for their brand endorsement where they can
get
to pay handsome money for the advertisement. Not
only
this,
many
fans follow their stars and
make
them their idol like a God, where every individual become inspired by their character.
For example
, cricketer like Shahid
Afridi
is known
by the title of ‘Boom Boom
Afridi
because
every youngster wants to hit
big
shots like him.

In conclusion
, being a
famous
personality has both pros and cons. It is a gift which few
people
get
out of millions. With a
little
inconvenience, I
think
it has more benefits than troubles.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
The limits of my language are the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Being a celebrity- such as famous film star or sports personality- brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems? v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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