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Being a celebrity such as famous film star or sports personality bring problem as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems. v.1

Being a celebrity such as famous film star or sports personality bring problem as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems. v. 1
People hold different opinion about the benefits and drawbacks of being a celebrity. The set of people believe that it is advantageous to be a popular personality, whereas some folks argue with this view. In my opinion, I believe that although there are lots of benefits that come with being an eminent personality, there are some drawbacks as well. On the brighter side, Firstly the fame and name of the celebrities help them to earn more money. They are hired by many companies for endorsing their products. For example, Virat Kohli is heavily paid by MRF and Reebok to advertise their product which results in boosting their sales. Secondly, celebrities through their work motivate and inspire millions of fans and general public alike. For instance, legendary film star Amitabh Bachchan has acted as a role model for the youth and pave right path for them. On the darker side, the main disadvantage of being a celebrity is the lack of personal space. Due to constant media attention and fan following, they find it difficult to enjoy their life like a common man. In addition to this, there is an excessive burden on the famous personalities, especially for actors and actress to maintain their facial beauty and physical appearance. To illustrate, Bollywood star Shahrukh Khan has undergone cosmetic surgery to look young and dynamic. In conclusion, I assert that the benefits of being a celebrity overweigh the problems. From financial gains to acting as role models the advantages are far and wide.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
hold
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinion about the benefits and drawbacks of being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
. The set of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
Did you mean "believes"?
believe
that it is advantageous to be a popular personality, whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
folks argue with this view. In my opinion, I believe that although there are lots of benefits that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with being an eminent personality, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks
as well
.

On the brighter side,
Firstly
the fame and name of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to earn more money. They
are hired
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
for endorsing their products.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Virat
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kohli
is
heavily
paid by MRF and Reebok to advertise their product which results in boosting their sales.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
through their work motivate and inspire millions of fans and
Consider using "public".
general public
alike.
For instance
, legendary film star
Possible spelling mistake found.
Amitabh
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bachchan
has acted as a role model for the youth and pave right path for them.

On the darker side, the main disadvantage of being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
is the lack of personal space. Due to constant media attention and fan following, they find it difficult to enjoy their life like a common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
.
In addition
to this, there is an excessive burden on the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
personalities,
especially
for actors and actress to maintain their facial beauty and physical appearance. To illustrate, Bollywood star
Possible spelling mistake found.
Shahrukh
Khan has undergone cosmetic surgery to look young and dynamic.

In conclusion
, I assert that the benefits of being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
Possible spelling mistake found.
overweigh
the problems. From financial gains to acting as role models the advantages are far and wide.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Being a celebrity such as famous film star or sports personality bring problem as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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