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Many people strive to maintain a successful career and happy family life at the same time. What problems can this situation cause? What are the possible solutions? v.8

Many people strive to maintain a successful career and happy family life at the same time. What problems can this situation cause? What are the possible solutions? v. 8
In this competitive era, for a prosperous walk of life, it is significant for individuals to simultaneously balance between work and personal matters. However, under such circumstances, one can face difficulties and can have a detrimental effect on health. This essay will discuss the complications related to such scenarios and possible ways to resolve them. To begin with, an affluent individual has a demanding lifestyle as their business and household affairs requires sustainability, but it also poses serious risks to a person’s health. Primarily, one’s mental state of mind becomes disturbed and makes it difficult to focus properly on business affairs or other life issues. Furthermore, if such a situation dwells in future also, then most likely one can develop a chronic disease which distorts their mental and physical well being. For instance, a survey was conducted by America scientists about how stress influences a person’s health and found that it is the prime cause of hair loss among young men and women. Albeit of the problem, there are also certain ways to curb such a condition. Firstly, it is vital for the close family members understand and respect the concerned individual’s privacy. By doing so that person could spend time on their own terms and feel relaxed. Secondly, one can also take a break from the workplace stay on a vacation, which can also help the person to stay happy and healthy. For example, it was published in the American Mental Journal that when a person is happy, serotonin hormone is released in the body which lowers the stress levels and promotes good health. To conclude, it is crucial for hardworking people to be concerned about mental wellness as then only, one can conquer more glorious achievements.
In this competitive era, for a prosperous walk of life, it is significant for individuals to
simultaneously
balance between work and personal matters.
However
, under such circumstances, one can face difficulties and can have a detrimental effect on health. This essay will discuss the complications related to such scenarios and possible ways to resolve them.

To
begin
with, an affluent individual has a demanding lifestyle as their business and household affairs requires sustainability,
but
it
also
poses serious
risks
to a
person’s
health.
Primarily
, one’s
mental
state of mind becomes disturbed and
makes
it difficult to focus
properly
on business affairs or other life issues.
Furthermore
, if such a situation dwells in future
also
, then most likely one can develop a chronic disease which distorts their
mental
and physical
well being
.
For instance
, a survey
was conducted
by America scientists about how
stress
influences a
person’s
health and found that it is the prime cause of hair loss among young
men
and women.

Albeit of the problem, there are
also
certain ways to curb such a condition.
Firstly
, it is vital for the close family members understand and respect the concerned individual’s privacy. By doing
so
that
person
could spend time on their
own
terms and feel relaxed.
Secondly
, one can
also
take a break from the workplace stay on a vacation, which can
also
help
the
person
to stay happy and healthy.
For example
, it
was published
in the American
Mental
Journal that when a
person
is happy, serotonin hormone
is released
in the body which lowers the
stress
levels and promotes
good
health.

To conclude
, it is crucial for hardworking
people
to
be concerned
about
mental
wellness as then
only
, one can conquer more glorious achievements.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people strive to maintain a successful career and happy family life at the same time. What problems can this situation cause? What are the possible solutions? v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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