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Being a celebrity such as a famous film star or sports personality brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems? v.5

Being a celebrity such as a famous film star or sports personality brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems? v. 5
Everyone wants to do something big, so they can be famous in this world. It is often debated that being a famous in a field such as film industry or sports brings problems or benefits. This essay will cover two areas: problems of being famous, which consist of not having personal space, but also many crazy fans; and its benefits, which include become social icon and earn money from their status Firstly, People who become a celebrity have many benefits as they become a social icon and public face and they follow them where ever they go. They come into limelight after becoming a celebrity. In addition, They earn lots of money due to their status. As a celebrity they endorse many products and due to his public image people start using those products due to the fact people believe those products are good. Also, Many political parties use their status and celebrity become part of the election campaign for them and result of this they rewarded with money. For example, In 2019's general election in India, political parties use multiple celebrities for their campaign and give them millions of rupees in return. But this has another side as well, Everything who brings benefits, have some problems as well. As they are celebrity, they do not or very little personal space because people follow them. Everything they do in their personal life becomes the headlines on national television. To illustrate with an example, according to a survey from a famous film magazine, more than 80 percent of celebrity facing this issue. Finally, It is become trouble when you have very crazy fans. Few fans send very crazy things as they want to show their craziness for them. For example, recently a fan of a Bollywood actress has sent a letter written with blood and nobody would like such kind of letters. To conclude, Being a celebrity has many advantages in life like becoming social icon and earn lots of money and similarly have drawbacks such as no personal space and crazy people as a fan. In my opinion, Earning money is one thing, but everyone wants some personal space in life and want to live life how they want so drawbacks outweighs the advantages.
Everyone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wants
to do something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
in this world. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
debated that being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
in a field such as film industry or sports brings problems or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
. This essay will cover two areas: problems of being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
, which consist of not having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crazy
fans; and its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
, which include
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
social icon and earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from their
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
status


Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
as they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a social icon and public
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
face and
they follow them where ever they go. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
into limelight after becoming a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
.
In addition
, They earn lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
due to their status. As a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
they endorse
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
products and due to his public image
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
using those products due to the fact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe those products are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.
Also
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
political parties
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their status and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
part of the election campaign for them and result of this they rewarded with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
For example
, In 2019's general election in India, political parties
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
for their campaign and give them millions of rupees in return.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
this has another side
as well
, Everything who brings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
, have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems
as well
. As they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
, they do not or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
follow them. Everything they do in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
becomes
the headlines on national television. To illustrate with an example, according to a survey from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
film magazine, more than 80 percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
facing this issue.
Finally
, It is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
trouble when you have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crazy
fans. Few fans
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crazy
things as they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their craziness for them.
For example
, recently a fan of a Bollywood actress has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
a letter written with blood and nobody would like such kind of letters.

To conclude
, Being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
like becoming social icon and earn lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and
similarly
have drawbacks such as no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crazy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as a fan. In my opinion, Earning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is one thing,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
everyone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wants
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
how they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
drawbacks outweighs the advantages.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
54Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Being a celebrity such as a famous film star or sports personality brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
374 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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