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Being a celebrity - such as a famous film star or sports personality - brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think being a celebrity brings more benefit or more problems? v.2

Being a celebrity - such as a famous film star or sports personality - brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think being a celebrity brings more benefit or more problems? v. 2
Although being a celebrity is a dream for everyone, it is not easy to live the life of one. A celebrity’s life is enjoyable, but it comes at a cost. Many people dream to have the life of a celebrity, but not many of them can. Despite the many benefits of living a celebrity’s life, it could have many disadvantages. First, being a celebrity has many benefits. A celebrity enjoys his life a lot. People like celebrities and always want to follow their news. For example, people like to follow the news of celebrities on social media. Moreover, people love to meet celebrities in real life and take photos with them. In addition, the media follows the news of celebrities and highlights their achievements. Thus, being a celebrity can be so enjoyable. In contrast to the many benefits of being a celebrity, the personal life of a celebrity could have many disadvantages. For instance, a celebrity might not be able to go out with his family to a mall. The celebrity is constantly being watched. Furthermore, any negative news about a celebrity is published in the media. Negative news about a celebrity can dramatically affect his personal life. Hence, a celebrity life can have many disadvantages. In conclusion, being a celebrity can have benefits and disadvantages. People love celebrities and always like to see them, but they also follow their bad news. It is not easy to live the life of a celebrity.
Although being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
is a dream for everyone, it is not easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of one. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is enjoyable,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
at a cost.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
dream to have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them can. Despite the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
of living a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, it could have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disadvantages.

First
, being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
. A
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celebrity
enjoys his
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life
a lot.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
and always want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
on social media.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
in real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and take photos with them.
In addition
, the media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follows
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
and highlights their achievements.
Thus
, being a
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celebrity
can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
enjoyable.

In contrast
to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
of being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
, the personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
could have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disadvantages.
For instance
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
might not be able to go out with his family to a mall. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
is
constantly
being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
.
Furthermore
, any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
about a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
is published
in the media.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
about a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
can
dramatically
affect his personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Hence
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disadvantages.

In conclusion
, being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
can have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
and disadvantages.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
and always like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
. It is not easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
50Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Being a celebrity - such as a famous film star or sports personality - brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think being a celebrity brings more benefit or more problems? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
243 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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