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Being a celebrity- such as a famous film star or sports personality-brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems? v.18

Being a celebrity- such as a famous film star or sports personality-brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems? v. 18
It is believed that being a famous person, such as a well-known actor or a sports player, has disadvantages and disadvantages. In my opinion, being famous results in more problems for celebrities compared to any benefits it might bring. Admittedly, there are some advantages to being famous. Firstly, generally celebrities are famous for their wealth, which is a result of their fame and lucrative jobs, namely acting, singing and sports playing. For instance, the well-known singer Taylor Swift gets around one million dollars for every event she participates in. Secondly, the majority of celebrities are welcomed everywhere without facing any visa-related issues. This is because many governments exempt celebrities from all visa requirements. To illustrate this, in April 2019, the Syrian actor Basil Kayat was given a visa to Egypt within 24 hours regardless of the recent law which states that the Syrians are not allowed to go to Egypt. Nevertheless, despite the advantages above, I think celebrities could face serious issues because of their fame. One annoying problem is that their privacy is always invaded by others. The reason behind this is that their fans are curious to know about their private lives and, therefore, most of them are followed by paparazzi everywhere. For example, a report by New York Times showed that the late actor, Marilyn Monroe used to hide in her home for weeks just to avoid photographers. Another possible issue is that the majority of famous people are surrounded by people who pretend to love them. In other words, a lot of famous people get divorced when they lose their wealth or decide to quit their lucrative jobs. For example, Abed Fahed is a very famous Syrian actor who got divorced after he lost his money and decided to quit acting. In conclusion, having no privacy and not being truly loved far outweigh any of the other advantages that could result from being a celebrity.
It
is believed
that being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
person, such as a well-known
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
actor
or a sports player, has disadvantages and disadvantages. In my opinion, being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
results in more problems for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
compared to any benefits it might bring.

Admittedly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages to being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
.
Firstly
,
generally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
for their wealth, which is a result of their fame and lucrative jobs,
namely
acting, singing and sports playing.
For instance
, the well-known singer Taylor Swift
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
around one million dollars for every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
she participates in.
Secondly
, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
are welcomed
everywhere without facing any visa-related issues. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
exempt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
from all visa requirements. To illustrate this, in April 2019, the Syrian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
actor
Basil
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kayat
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a visa to Egypt within 24 hours regardless of the recent law which states that the Syrians are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to go to Egypt.

Nevertheless
, despite the advantages above, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
could face serious issues
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their fame. One annoying problem is that their privacy is always invaded by others. The reason behind this is that their fans are curious to know about their private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and,
therefore
, most of them
are followed
by paparazzi everywhere.
For example
, a report by New York Times
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that the late
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
actor
, Marilyn Monroe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hide
in her home for weeks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to avoid photographers. Another possible issue is that the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are surrounded
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who pretend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
them.
In other words
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
divorced when they lose their wealth or decide to quit their lucrative jobs.
For example
, Abed
Possible spelling mistake found.
Fahed
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
Syrian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
actor
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
divorced after he lost his money and decided to quit acting.

In conclusion
, having no privacy and not being
truly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
far outweigh any of the other advantages that could result from being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS essay Being a celebrity- such as a famous film star or sports personality-brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems? v. 18

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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