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at universities and colleges, sports are just important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support v.1

at universities and colleges, sports are just important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support v. 1
It is thought by some that losing of plants and animal species is one of the environmental issues of today's generation while others believe that we are facing more serious environmental problems than that. In my opinion, the loss of particular species of plants and animals is one of the minor issues only, but pollution in water and air is the main problem of our mother Earth at this time. Firstly, we all know that plants and animals have a big part in our environment which is making an ecological balance. For example, plants give us oxygen and purify the air that we breathe and also we can use it for therapeutic purposes as an herbal medical and many more. On the other hand, animals are there to help us for pest and weed control of the environment. Moreover, the government should make a law on how to conserve and protect the remaining species that we have by punishing the offenders like illegal loggers and animal hunters. Another point to consider is the air and water pollution. Because of the rapid population growth, we cannot deny the fact that the main cause of these pollutions is the human being. People are becoming irresponsible in waste management that's why the air and water are too polluted already. For instance, We are throwing garbages everywhere without proper segregation, as a result, flood is everywhere while those garbages are floating on the river and clogging in the drainage system. Aside from that, big factories are polluting the air because of their hazardous fumes and toxic waste materials. To conclude, the loss of some plants and animal species can be easily controlled by the government by imposing laws, but the problem regarding the air and water pollution is a big issue that we cannot solve and becoming worse every day.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that losing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
species is one of the environmental issues of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's generation while others believe that we are facing more serious environmental problems than that. In my opinion, the loss of particular species of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is one of the minor issues
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
is the main problem of our mother Earth at this time.

Firstly
, we all know that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
part in our environment which is making an ecological balance.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
give us oxygen and purify the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
that we breathe and
also
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it for therapeutic purposes as
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
herbal medical and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are there to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us for pest and weed control of the environment.
Moreover
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a law on how to conserve and protect the remaining species that we have by punishing the offenders like illegal loggers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
hunters.

Another point to consider is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the rapid population growth, we cannot deny the fact that the main cause of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollutions
is the human being.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are becoming irresponsible in waste management that's why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
are too polluted already.
For instance
,

We are throwing
Possible spelling mistake found.
garbages
everywhere without proper segregation,
as a result
, flood is everywhere while those
Possible spelling mistake found.
garbages
are floating on the river and clogging in the drainage system. Aside from that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
factories are polluting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their hazardous fumes and toxic waste materials.

To conclude
, the loss of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
species can be
easily
controlled by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
by imposing laws,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the problem regarding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
issue that we cannot solve and becoming worse every day.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay at universities and colleges, sports are just important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
306 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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