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Some people believe that a natural ability is needed to be successful at sport, others believe that hardwork and discipline is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Use relevant ideas and examples v.1

Some people believe that a natural ability is needed to be successful at sport, others believe that hardwork and discipline is more important. Use relevant ideas and examples v. 1
There is no doubt that being successful is important in today's world. It is argued by some people that becoming successful at sport depends on having an innate ability. However, others believe that hardwork and training is more significant. In my opinion, I feel that hardwork and practice is necessary to becoming succesful at sport. On the one hand, there are people who think that having an innate ability rather than hard work and practice will result to achieving success in sport. This is because if you have a natural ability, you will become creative. For instance, according to some athletes, they claim that having a creative skill helped them to become famous in their career. Furthermore, if a player has a natural skill, it will help the person to spend less time in practice and spend those hours in other areas. On the other hand, some people believe that hardwork and training rather than innate ability will help people become successful at sport and I agree. This is because if people practise, then they can attain perfection. Take for example, Mohammed Ali, he trained for several hours, every day in a week. This made him disciplined and he became the most successful boxer in his era. Furthermore, hardwork and practice help people to become mentally alert which is needed to being a successful player. In conclusion, although people believe that becoming successful in sport depends on natural ability. I opine that hardwork and training are more significant to becoming a successful sportsman.
There is no doubt that being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world. It
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that becoming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
depends on having an innate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
.
However
, others believe that
Possible spelling mistake found.
hardwork
and training is more significant. In my opinion, I feel that
Possible spelling mistake found.
hardwork
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practice
is necessary to becoming
Possible spelling mistake found.
succesful
at sport.

On the one hand, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that having an innate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
rather
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practice
will result to achieving success in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if you have a natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
, you will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
creative.
For instance
, according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
athletes, they claim that having a creative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
in their career.
Furthermore
, if a player has a natural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the person to spend less time in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practice
and spend those hours in other areas.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
Possible spelling mistake found.
hardwork
and training
rather
than innate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake. 'practise' is British English.
practise
, then they can attain perfection. Take
for example
, Mohammed Ali, he trained for several hours, every day in a week. This made him
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
disciplined and
he became the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
boxer in his era.
Furthermore
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
hardwork
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practice
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
mentally alert which
is needed
to being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
player.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that becoming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
depends on natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
. I opine that
Possible spelling mistake found.
hardwork
and training are more significant to becoming a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
sportsman.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
A different language is a different vision of life.
Federico Fellini

IELTS essay Some people believe that a natural ability is needed to be successful at sport, others believe that hardwork and discipline is more important. Use relevant ideas and examples v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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