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As the leader of a city, what would you do to ensure the prosperity and success of the city? A. creating job opportunities for the unemployed; B. lowering food price; C. providing affordable housing v.2

As the leader of a city, what would you do to ensure the prosperity and success of the city? A. creating job opportunities for the unemployed; B. lowering food price; C. providing affordable housing v. 2
People debate about what should a leader to do to ensure the success of the city. From my perspective, the government should create job opportunities for the unemployed. Jobs would bring people a safe environment and money, which are necessary to prosper the city. My reasons are as follows. In the first place, high unemployment rate damages the safety of the city that is necessary to the prosperity of the city. To be more specific, it is possible that people without stable incomes would think about getting money in illegal ways, such as stealing or committing a fraud. In contrast, people with jobs focus on their working and don' t spend their time thinking about inappropriate things. Taking Detroit as an example, its high unemployment rate is associated with the increased crime rate. As a result, people move out to safer places. Since the workforce decreases, industries there continuously decline, and so does the city. On the other hand, the food price there is not above average. In addition, there are many cheap and empty houses but no one wants to buy them. Some cheap houses even become the place where the crimes take place. Obviously, creating job opportunities is more important to make the city prosper. Secondly, people need money to survive first, and then, they would have extra energy to pursue other things which flourish the city. In other words, working allows people to earn money, so providing job opportunities helps prosper the city. To illustrate, only after people are satisfied with the basic requirement of living, for example, getting enough food and having the cloth to keep them warm, they pursue other important things like education, political rights, and arts. For instance, in some developing countries, people have food and simple houses provided by the government, but still, they are not able to develop their city well because they own little money due to the limited job opportunities. Thirdly, to ensure the success of the city, the authority needs money to build public facilities, and by providing job opportunities to people, the government would have more money. To illustrate, the fund of the government mostly comes from the tax. The more money people earn, the more tax government would acquire. In turn, it uses the fund to improve, for example, the public transportation and the roads, which are basic but critical to citizen’s life. In contrast, lowering food price and providing affordable housing does not bring the government more money. What’s worse, to compensate for the loss of people who sell food or house, the government would have to pay to them, so it would have less money to build public facilities that help the city success. In sum, I hold the view that providing the job opportunities is what the leader should do to make the city flourish. The price of food and housing is not a problem because people can cook by themselves and live in a cheaper place to save money. However, only the authority can create more job opportunities for people.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
debate about what should a leader to do to ensure the success of the city. From my perspective, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
for the unemployed.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Jobs
would bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
a safe environment and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, which are necessary to prosper the city. My reasons are as follows.

In the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
, high unemployment rate damages the safety of the city
that is
necessary to the prosperity of the city. To be more specific, it is possible that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
without stable incomes would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in illegal ways, such as stealing or committing a fraud.
In contrast
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
focus on their working and
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t spend their time thinking about inappropriate things. Taking Detroit as an example, its high unemployment rate
is associated
with the increased crime rate.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
out to safer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. Since the workforce decreases, industries there
continuously
decline, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
does the city. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
price there is not above average.
In addition
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
and empty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
no one wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
even become the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
where the crimes take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
.
Obviously
, creating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the city prosper.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to survive
first
, and then, they would have extra energy to pursue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
things which flourish the city. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
prosper the city. To illustrate,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are satisfied
with the basic requirement of living,
for example
, getting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and having the cloth to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them warm, they pursue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
things like education, political rights, and arts.
For instance
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and simple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
provided by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
, they are not able to develop their city well
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
due to the limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities.

Thirdly
, to ensure the success of the city, the authority needs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to build public facilities, and by providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
would have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. To illustrate, the fund of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
mostly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from the tax. The more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
earn, the more tax
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
would acquire. In turn, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
the fund to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
,
for example
, the public transportation and the roads, which are basic
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
critical to citizen’s life.
In contrast
, lowering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
price and providing affordable housing does not bring the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. What’s worse, to compensate for the loss of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who sell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay to them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it would have less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to build public facilities that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the city success.

In sum, I hold the view that providing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
is what the leader should do to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the city flourish. The price of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and housing is not a problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can cook by themselves and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a cheaper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the authority can create more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
19Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
66Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay As the leader of a city, what would you do to ensure the prosperity and success of the city? A. creating job opportunities for the unemployed; B. lowering food price; C. providing affordable housing v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
508 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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