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As most people spend a major pat of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual well-being. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers? v.1

As most people spend a major pat of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual well-being. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers? v. 1
Nowadays, when standard of physical and mental life of people is enhanced higher and higher; working is not only for reason of making ends meet. Workers are looking for job satisfaction when they decide to choose a company or employers to work with. In this essay, I am going to address contributing factors to job satisfaction which are in terms of: working hours, salary and promotions. Firstly, working hours is an important element that make people are satisfied with their jobs. There is a popular trend that employee can work with flexible time. It means they can adjust their workday because in origins, work is something we do, not how many time we spend. It is illogical if employers force their inferiors to be at office 9 to 5 but they can absolutely finish their work in four hours in the situation that they have children at home. Therefore, it is important to change the original schedule to give people flexibility at workplace and they have more motivation to work effectively. Next, the fact that could not be denied and encourage the employees remarkably is a reliable salary system. People have jobs to afford imperative need for them and families. The reasonable salary and bonus for outstanding performance at work as well as an award will make employee more grateful and confident to his job and more loyal to organization. Lastly, training and promotion possibility from employers is part of satisfaction in long term. Every desire to be accommodated in the position that is worthy with his ability and performance at work. A clear promotion process in company makes worker try to improve their productivity. In addition, training courses from company contribute to self-development of employees are also element of well-being at work it helps either workers or company to get better job performances. To conclude, if every worker is able to join in a job which suits him financially, vocationally and academically, it could contribute to climbing the career ladder successfully.
Nowadays, when standard of physical and mental life of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is enhanced
higher and higher; working is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for reason of making ends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Workers
are looking for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction when they decide to choose a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
or employers to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with. In this essay, I am going to address contributing factors to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction which are in terms of: working hours, salary and promotions.

Firstly
, working hours is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
element that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are satisfied
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. There is a popular trend that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with flexible time. It means they can adjust their workday
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in origins,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is something we do, not how
Did you mean "many times" or "much time"?
many time
we spend. It is illogical if employers force their inferiors to be at office 9 to 5
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they can
absolutely
finish their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in four hours in the situation that they have children at home.
Therefore
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the original schedule to give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
flexibility at
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
workplace and
they have more motivation to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
effectively
.

Next
, the fact that could not
be denied
and encourage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
remarkably
is a reliable salary system.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
to afford imperative need for them and families. The reasonable salary and bonus for outstanding performance at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as well
as an award will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
more grateful and confident to his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and more loyal to organization.

Lastly
, training and promotion possibility from employers is part of satisfaction in long term. Every desire to
be accommodated
in the position
that is
worthy with his ability and performance at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
promotion process in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worker
try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their productivity.
In addition
, training courses from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
contribute to self-development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
are
also
element of well-being at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
either
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
performances.

To conclude
, if every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worker
is able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
which suits him
financially
,
vocationally
and
academically
, it could contribute to climbing the career ladder
successfully
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay As most people spend a major pat of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual well-being. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
332 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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