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As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of of individual well being. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectations of job satisfaction for all workers? . v.2

As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of of individual well being. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectations of job satisfaction for all workers? . v. 2
Individuals are involved in one form of work or another and people give a significant part of their adulthood to working, with joy and pleasure being an integral part of it. This essay shall look at the reasons behind job satisfaction and also examine if these hopes are feasible. The predominant elements responsible for employees pleasure in their workplace are; high take home and effective working environments. Firstly, when workers are being paid well, it places demands on them to be productive. That is, since their basic needs of life are being met, they owe the organisation their full commitment and loyalty. In addition, an effective working environment is crucial. When the tools needed to perform their daily activities are not only available but are also up-to-date, it brings out the best that lies within them. Thus, this would definitely create a desire to strive for the best. The Punch newspaper, for example, reported that the people who are employed by private companies with high salaries and with latest technological equipments are happier about their jobs than those who lack them. Hence, the reason for their success. On the other hand, the reality that workers would be glad about their employment is largely untrue. This is because not every institution has the capacity to entirely meet the financial needs of its employees. Also, as humans, our desire for more cannot be completely met, simply because we are insatiable beings. For instance, it is observed that experts who work with multinationals move from one organisation to another in search for greener pastures in order to be happy. Therefore, it shows that the joy derived from working is rather elusive. In conclusion, we cannot underestimate the need for people to be satisfied while working and that there are several elements determining them. Consequently, it is nearly impossible to meet these expectations.
Individuals
are involved
in one form of work or another and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
give a significant part of their adulthood to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
, with joy and pleasure being an integral part of it. This essay shall look at the reasons behind job satisfaction and
also
examine if these hopes are feasible.

The predominant elements responsible for employees pleasure in their workplace are; high take home and effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
environments.
Firstly
, when workers are
being paid
well, it places demands on them to be productive.
That is
, since their basic needs of life are
being met
, they owe the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
their full commitment and loyalty.
In addition
, an effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
environment is crucial. When the tools needed to perform their daily activities are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
available
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
are
also
up-to-date, it brings out the best that lies within them.
Thus
, this would definitely create a desire to strive for the best. The Punch newspaper,
for example
, reported that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
are employed
by private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
with high salaries and with
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
technological equipments are happier about their jobs than those who lack them.
Hence
, the reason for their success.

On the other hand
, the reality that workers would be glad about their employment is
largely
untrue. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
not every institution has the capacity to
entirely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the financial needs of its employees.
Also
, as humans, our desire for more cannot be completely met,
simply
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we are insatiable beings.
For instance
, it
is observed
that experts who work with multinationals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
from one
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
to another in search for greener pastures in order to be happy.
Therefore
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that the joy derived from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
is
rather
elusive.

In conclusion
, we cannot underestimate the need for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
be satisfied
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
and that there are several elements determining them.
Consequently
, it is
nearly
impossible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
these expectations.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of of individual well being. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectations of job satisfaction for all workers? . v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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