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Government should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement. v.16

Government should spend money on railways rather than roads. with this statement. v. 16
There are different views about whether governments should spend money, preferably on the roads or the railways. While some consider that the roads are more important than the rails, I completely agree that the rails should be a priority of any nation due to two reasons. First, the most desirable feature of any mode of transportation is its efficiency. Trains are much more efficient than cars or buses in terms of the distance travelled and passengers or freight carried over a given timeframe, which means that more people can commute easily and quickly. This faster transportation is possible because trains avoid road congestion, which is a big delaying factor in commuting by highways. This time-efficient commute means that people can have more time before and after travelling to relax and unwind. Take Japan for example. Who has one of the world’s best railway system, and thanks to this efficient system, people are enjoying a better quality of life as faster transportation meant that they can save more time for socialising and recuperating. Thus trains are ultimately linked to more satisfying societies. Moreover, subways and metros are a lot more environmentally friendly. While I concede that some would prefer the privacy of personal vehicle, the greenhouse gases emitted by these personalised modes of transportation are a big burden on our environment. Trains, on the other hand, emit much less proportion of carbon dioxide and ammonia. When this less emission is combined repeatedly over a long period of time, environmental pollution can be controlled. This has been seen in Japan, where trains are a preferred mode of transportation and it has reduced the carbon dioxide load, which has led to a purer environment over several decades. In short, not only does an efficient train system help citizens save time to enjoy their lives better, but it is also much less burden on the environment. I, therefore, believe that government policies should focus on trains instead of roads.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about whether
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should spend money,
preferably
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
or the railways. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
consider that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than the rails, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the rails should be a priority of any nation due to two reasons.

First
, the most desirable feature of any mode of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
is its efficiency.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Trains
are much more efficient than cars or buses in terms of the distance travelled and passengers or freight carried over a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
timeframe, which means that more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can commute
easily
and
quickly
. This faster
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
is possible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
congestion, which is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
delaying factor in commuting by highways. This time-efficient commute means that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
and after travelling to relax and unwind. Take Japan
for example
. Who has one of the world’s best railway system, and thanks to this efficient system,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are enjoying a better quality of life as faster
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
meant that they can save more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialising' is British English.
socialising
and recuperating.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
are
ultimately
linked to more satisfying societies.

Moreover
, subways and metros are a lot more
environmentally
friendly. While I concede that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
would prefer the privacy of personal vehicle, the greenhouse gases emitted by these
Possible spelling mistake. 'personalised' is British English.
personalised
modes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
are a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
burden on our environment.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Trains
,
on the other hand
, emit much less proportion of carbon dioxide and ammonia. When this less emission
is combined
repeatedly
over a long period of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, environmental pollution can
be controlled
. This has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in Japan, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
are a preferred mode of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
and it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the carbon dioxide load, which has led to a purer environment over several decades.

In short, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does an efficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
system
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
citizens save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to enjoy their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
better,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
also
much less burden on the environment. I,
therefore
, believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
policies should focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Government should spend money on railways rather than roads. with this statement. v. 16

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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