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As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual well-being. v.41

As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual well-being. v. 41
In current society, people’s dignity is shown by their education and job. Most of the people turn to work in the office environment because nowadays farms and agricultural products have less value. People spend most of the time in the office so job satisfaction is an essential part in someone's wellbeing  However, I believe that satisfaction at work is everyone’s dream. Firstly, there are many factors that influence the job enjoyment. A good working environment that includes job security and better salary is the main and most important thing which helps each employee to be happy. Then comfortable seating and adequate lighting are other factors. For instance, if a person works in an information technology department, his work needs a comfortable seating and lighting arrangement. Next is about timing as people like to work for a fixed hours like seven to eight hours. But according to women they wish to work less than that because they have household works and need to take care of their children. Leave and day off is another contributing factor to provide job happiness. For example, employees who work as shift duties they have to work on public holidays, so it leads to unhappiness for them. Some workers wish to have the food and accommodation facilities near to the office because it’s really difficult to reach the office due to traffic in the peak time. When we think about the reality of job satisfaction, it should come from ourselves. Most of the people have to make their job environment-friendly and balanced. First of all, when we get a job offer letter, we have to think about the satisfaction that we might get from that job. Most of the people are looking for a better salary only. In such cases, they may need to sacrifice some factors, like working at night time and doing on call duties. If an employee has any difficulties at working environment, he can raise the concern to the human resource department, because in all companies they have employee satisfaction department for their employees. To conclude, I believe that job pleasure and satisfaction is important in workplaces because if there is a good working environment and employees are happy, their productivity and enthusiasm to work will be better. Even though there are many things which make workers happy, it should be contributed from ourselves.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
society,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
dignity
is shown
by their education and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
turn to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
nowadays farms and agricultural products have less value.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
spend most of the time in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
is an essential part in someone's
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
However
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is everyone’s dream.

Firstly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
that influence the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
enjoyment. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
that includes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
security and better salary is the main and most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
to be happy. Then comfortable seating and adequate lighting are other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
.
For instance
, if a person works in an information technology department, his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
needs a comfortable seating and lighting arrangement.
Next
is about timing as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
hours like seven to eight hours.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
according to women they wish to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
less than that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have household works and need to take care of their children.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Leave
and day off is another contributing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
happiness.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as shift duties they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on public holidays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it leads to unhappiness for them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
workers wish to have the food and accommodation facilities near to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it’s
really
difficult to reach the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
due to traffic in the peak time.

When we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about the reality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
, it should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from ourselves. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
environment-friendly and balanced.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
offer letter, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
that we might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
from that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are looking for a better salary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
. In such cases, they may need to sacrifice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
, like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
at
This word is normally spelled as one.
night time
and doing on call duties. If an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
has any difficulties at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
, he can raise the concern to the human resource department,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
they have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
department for their employees.

To conclude
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
pleasure and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in workplaces
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if there is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
are happy, their productivity and enthusiasm to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
will be better.
Even though
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
workers happy, it should
be contributed
from ourselves.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
51Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual well-being. v. 41

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
392 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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