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As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual well-being. v.40

As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual well-being. v. 40
No matter whether we work for living or we live for working, this is a stark reality that working covers the majority time of our lives and job satisfaction factors have been always considered important by workers. In the other hand, managers have always tried to increase job satisfaction elements in their companies as they believe that there is a direct relation between job satisfaction and company’s profit. Therefore there have been lots of debates about recognising some elements which are most effective on this matter and the ways which company can response to this kind of worker’s need. According to science management which has been embedded in Taylor studies, Money is the best element to encourage workers and make them happy from their jobs, but it has been proved that money is not the only factor or enough and some other elements should be implemented to make employees satisfied. For example, making an atmosphere in the workplace which a worker can work without any stress or concern  can make a worker’s life easier. These days the culture of a company plays a critical role to contribute to the job satisfaction. Put another way, the office culture helps workers to be interested in their jobs or vice versa. For instance, in some cultures, managers just specify some duties for workers and ask them to do. By contrast, some other encourage workers to come to problems, think and improve them which has a deep effect on workers as they don’t find themselves just as a cog in a machine. However it is not possible to make all of the workers satisfied in a company as anyone has a different character and individual aspects, at present various ways to get job satisfaction have been recognized and developed and a successful manager is someone who can find the best approach to increase the average of job satisfaction in the company. I think, therefore, job satisfaction should be considered as the most important topic in management studies and managers should develop some meeting to transfer their experiences about job satisfaction elements to each other. Perhaps by this way, they can find some similar strategies which can be affected on all workers’ job satisfaction in different industries.
No matter whether we work for
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
living or
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
for working, this is a stark reality that working covers the majority time of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
factors
The adverb 'always' is usually put between 'have' and 'been'.
have been always
considered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
managers
have always tried to increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elements
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
as they believe that there is a direct relation between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company’s
profit.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
there have been lots of debates about
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognising' is British English.
recognising
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elements
which are most effective on this matter and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
can
Did you mean "respond"?
response
to this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worker’s
need.

According to science management which has
been embedded
in Taylor studies, Money is the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
element
to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them happy from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it has
been proved
that money is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
factor or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elements
should
be implemented
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
employees satisfied.
For example
, making an atmosphere in the workplace which a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worker
can work without any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
or concern
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worker’s
life easier. These days the culture of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
plays a critical role to contribute to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
. Put another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
, the office culture
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
to
be interested
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
or vice versa.
For instance
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cultures,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
managers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
specify
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
duties for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
and ask them to do. By contrast,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "others"?
other
encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to problems,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
them which has a deep effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
as they don’t find themselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
as a cog in a machine.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
it is not possible to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
Consider using "all the".
all of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
satisfied in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
as anyone has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
character and individual aspects, at present various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
have been
Do not mix variants of the same word ('recognize' and 'recognise') within a single text.
recognized
and developed and a successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manager
is someone who can find the best approach to increase the average of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
,
therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
should
be considered
as the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
topic in management studies and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
managers
should develop
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
meeting to transfer their experiences about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elements
to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. Perhaps by this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
, they can find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
similar strategies which can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
on all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
industries.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
57Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS essay As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual well-being. v. 40

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
372 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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