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Around the world, it is likely that more adults will work from home and more children will study from home as computer technology becomes cheaper and accessible. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? v.4

Around the world, it is likely that more adults will work from home and more children will study from home as computer technology becomes cheaper and accessible. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? v. 4
It is true that due to the affordability and accessibility of computers now, working and studying from home is now within people's reach. In my own perspective, I believe that this tendency can only give a negative impact. One issue to consider is that working at their own residence causes less productivity. While computers can bring convenience to employees, it can also result for more unfinished tasks. For instance, since a person is away from competitive environment such as offices, there will be less pressure and motivation from his boss to finish the assignments. Another problem for workers is that it gives less interaction with people. Despite the benefits of saving time and money when the job is at within their house, it can only lead to deficiency of social skills. Rather than delivering a face to face communication with clients, employees are oftentimes alone and talk to clients only on computer screens. Hence, this trend can bring negative impact to the employees. As for children studying at home, this can likewise give them disadvantages. Firstly, children are prone to distractions. They often failed to study because they lack focus on their lessons. For example, the usage of gadgets such as a computer for studying can also be utilized for gaming and browsing other off topic links. Consequently, their study is ineffective. Moreover, just like adults in the workforce, children may not be able to develop well their communication skills. This is true since there is the absence of classroom environment wherein other students are present. Thus, this is regarded as negative. In conclusion, even though there is an advantage seen in the convenience of people to work and be educated at home, I consider that this can only bring about more problems for them in the future.
It is true that due to the affordability and accessibility of computers
now
, working and studying from home is
now
within
people
's reach. In my
own
perspective, I believe that this tendency can
only
give a
negative
impact.

One issue to consider is that working at their
own
residence causes less productivity. While computers can bring convenience to employees, it can
also
result for more unfinished tasks.
For instance
, since a person is away from competitive environment such as offices, there will be less pressure and motivation from his boss to finish the assignments. Another problem for workers is that it gives less interaction with
people
. Despite the benefits of saving time and money when the job is at within their
house
, it can
only
lead to deficiency of social
skills
.
Rather
than delivering a face to face communication with clients, employees are oftentimes alone and talk to clients
only
on computer screens.
Hence
, this trend can bring
negative
impact to the employees.

As for children studying at home, this can
likewise
give them disadvantages.
Firstly
, children are prone to distractions. They
often
failed to study
because
they lack focus on their lessons.
For example
, the usage of gadgets such as a computer for studying can
also
be utilized
for gaming and browsing other
off topic
links.
Consequently
, their study is ineffective.
Moreover
,
just
like adults in the workforce, children may not be able to develop well their communication
skills
. This is true since there is the absence of classroom environment wherein other students are present.
Thus
, this
is regarded
as
negative
.

In conclusion
,
even though
there is an advantage
seen
in the convenience of
people
to work and
be educated
at home, I consider that this can
only
bring about more problems for them in the future.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Around the world, it is likely that more adults will work from home and more children will study from home as computer technology becomes cheaper and accessible. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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