Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Are we free to make our own decisions or are we limited in the choices we can make? Disadvantage v.1

Are we free to make our own decisions or are we limited in the choices we can make? Disadvantage v. 1
In her 2008 Harvard commencement speech, author J. K. Rowling invited recent graduates to take responsibility for their own lives. Rowling argued that each individual must ardently grab the steering wheel of her own life as soon as she is able. Relying on parents, professors, or peers to give one’s life direction, purpose, or structure is simply not an option. I agree with Rowling’s assertion that we are all in charge of our own lives. The complication arises, however, when we acknowledge that the materials we have been given to lead those lives vary greatly from person to person. In keeping with the car analogy, I may be driving a Toyota Corolla with 90, 000 miles on it, while another person may be careening through the world from the scooped seat of A brand-new BMW. In other words, yes, we make our own choices, and we are responsible for how we lead our lives, but each one of us makes those choices and selects our paths within a framework which we cannot control. Never is this clearer than in discussions of privilege. Axioms such as, “The rich get richer and the poor get poorer, ” highlight the idea that our circumstances force us to start from different places. Oprah Winfrey, for instance, is so fascinating To the American public because of her “rags to riches” story: a young woman, born into poverty, who suffered years of horrific abuse from relatives, who still managed to rise to stardom, acquire wealth, and wield power with generosity and compassion. Still other public figures receive significant scrutiny for their lack of need to self-start. President George W. Bush was frequently derided for his cushy upbringing, which led him to study at Yale and a presidency which, to some, seemed to result more from his family wealth and political connections than from genuine preparedness for office. Famous television personalities and politicians provide ample fodder for the frustration many of us feel when faced with Rowling’s demand that we take the wheels of our own lives, and yet the complex relationship between personal responsibility and predetermined circumstance plays itself out in ordinary lives. As well. Having recently chosen to return to school for another degree, I feel emboldened and proud of this decision I am making. However, I also recognize that the support of my parents in high school–driving me to theatre practice, paying for my voice lessons, buying me as many books as I could read–and their continued bolstering of me in college has laid the groundwork for my academic success and confidence. I could not have succeeded in high school, college, and graduate school, and then considered more education, without their emotional and financial support. In the end, we each write our own stories; we are in charge of the choices we make. One eminent psychologist said it best when he claimed, “We do not have control, but we do have choices. ” We do not control so many things: the decade we are born, the parents we go home with, the teachers who educate us. Yet we do have choices. We choose the clothes we wear, regardless of each decade’s fashion frenzies; we choose how we relate to our parents; we choose whether or not to study for the myriad tests and quizzes that pepper our twenty-first century educations. The outcome of this venture has called life will always, at least partially, elude us, but as human beings, we have been given the gift of daily, personal choice. To me, that makes all the difference.
In her 2008 Harvard commencement speech, author J. K. Rowling invited recent graduates to take responsibility for their
own
lives
. Rowling argued that each individual
must
ardently
grab the steering wheel of her
own
life as
soon
as she is able. Relying on
parents
, professors, or peers to give one’s life direction, purpose, or structure is
simply
not an option.

I
agree
with Rowling’s assertion that we are all in charge of our
own
lives
. The complication arises,
however
, when we acknowledge that the materials we have been
given
to lead those
lives
vary
greatly
from person to person. In keeping with the car analogy, I may be driving a Toyota Corolla with 90, 000 miles on it, while another person may be careening through the world from the scooped seat of

A brand-new BMW.
In other words
, yes, we
make
our
own
choices
, and we are responsible for how we lead our
lives
,
but
each one of us
makes
those
choices
and selects our paths within a framework which we cannot control.

Never is
this clearer than in discussions of privilege. Axioms such as, “The rich
get
richer and the poor
get
poorer,
highlight the
idea
that our circumstances force us to
start
from
different
places. Oprah Winfrey,
for instance
, is
so
fascinating

To the American public
because
of her “rags to riches” story: a young woman, born into poverty, who suffered years of horrific abuse from relatives, who
still
managed to rise to stardom, acquire wealth, and wield power with generosity and compassion.
Still
other public figures receive significant scrutiny for their lack of need to self-
start
. President George W. Bush was
frequently
derided for his cushy upbringing, which led him to study at Yale and a presidency which, to
some
, seemed to result more from his family wealth and political connections than from genuine preparedness for office.

Famous
television personalities and politicians provide ample fodder for the frustration
many
of us feel when faced with Rowling’s demand that we take the wheels of our
own
lives
, and
yet
the complex relationship between personal responsibility and predetermined circumstance plays itself out in ordinary
lives
.

As well
. Having recently chosen to return to school for another degree, I feel emboldened and proud of this decision I am making.
However
, I
also
recognize that the support of my
parents
in high school–driving me to
theatre
practice, paying for my voice lessons, buying me as
many
books as I could read–and their continued bolstering of me in college has laid the groundwork for my academic success and confidence. I could not have succeeded in high school, college, and graduate school, and then considered more education, without their emotional and financial support.

In the
end
, we each write our
own
stories; we are in charge of the
choices
we
make
. One eminent psychologist said it best when he claimed, “We do not have control,
but
we do have
choices
. ” We do not control
so
many
things: the decade we
are born
, the
parents
we go home with, the teachers who educate us.
Yet
we do have
choices
. We choose the clothes we wear, regardless of each decade’s fashion frenzies; we choose how we relate to our
parents
; we choose
whether or not
to study for the myriad
tests
and quizzes that pepper our twenty-
first
century educations. The outcome of this venture has called life will always, at least
partially
, elude us,
but
as human beings, we have been
given
the gift of daily, personal
choice
. To me, that
makes
all the difference.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Are we free to make our own decisions or are we limited in the choices we can make? Disadvantage v. 1

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
592 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts