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Do you think it is possible for everyone to take exercise every day? Why/Why not? v.2

Do you think it is possible for everyone to take exercise every day? Why/Why not? v. 2
Participating in athletics activities will ameliorate people's life quality which can refresh individuals mentally. People can take part in cheap sports all of the days. Some people might be hectic and do not notice to any physical activity, however, there are a lot of individuals who are extremely interested in doing sports. Doing activities might be challenging for somebody. Some people seem busy who do not have enough notice to participate in game events. Furthermore, they are looking for spare time in order to play sports, but they might not be determined enough to do it. Further, there is another reason which might lead to less motivation for going a gym and enrolling at sport clubs that is the high cost of club enrolment. Their budget is more tightly which not being able to manage expenses. Maybe, they could not handle enough money if they wanted to be an athlete. However, it should not be forgotten take part in some activities may need any minutes and a little money, many individuals play handy sports whole weeks. When people commute to work places or schools, jogging, running, biking will be the best choices for everyone. Moreover, well-shaped body will be made by doing these sports that are extremely reasonable and do not require any extra attention. Not only are these activities can make people's body much healthier, but it can also ameliorate their job feedbacks that can beef social conditions up. Although a tiny number of people might offer an excuse for flinching from playing sports, numerous people avidly follow their sport activities more relentlessly. However, performing inexpensive sports is the most crucial subject for everyone. It can be an excellent idea for all people specifically both of employees and employers try to do sports in their workplace.
Participating in athletics
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
will ameliorate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life quality which can refresh individuals mentally.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
Consider using "all the".
all of the
days.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be hectic and do not notice to any physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
,
however
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
individuals who are
extremely
interested in doing sports.

Doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be challenging for somebody.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
seem busy who do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
notice to participate in game
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.
Furthermore
, they are looking for spare time in order to play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
not
be determined
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to do it.
Further
, there is another reason which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
lead to less motivation for going a gym and enrolling at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
clubs
that is
the high cost of club
Possible spelling mistake. 'enrolment' is British English.
enrolment
. Their budget is more
tightly
which not being able to manage expenses. Maybe, they could not handle
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money if they wanted to be an athlete.

However
, it should not
be forgotten
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
may need any minutes and a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
money,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals play handy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
whole weeks. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
commute to work places or schools, jogging, running, biking will be the best choices for everyone.
Moreover
, well-shaped body will
be made
by doing these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
that are
extremely
reasonable and do not require any extra attention. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
are these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's body much healthier,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it can
also
ameliorate their job feedbacks that can beef social conditions up.

Although a tiny number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
offer an excuse for flinching from playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
avidly
follow their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
more
relentlessly
.
However
, performing inexpensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is the most crucial subject for everyone. It can be an excellent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
specifically
both of employees and employers try to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
in their workplace.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Do you think it is possible for everyone to take exercise every day? Why/Why not? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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